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******** ******** ********

I can't take life anymore

I want to shove a ******** switchblade through my ******** throat, and just saw all the way around, seriously holy ********.

I can't take this s**t anymore... I CAN'T!

I keep ******** up at work, making stupid mistakes, and when I'm not, it's the policy changes, or "I'm not doing my job right", or something else ******** STUPID like that.. ******** s**t son of a b***h. Seriously, what in the hell...

My boss is working me constantly now, because she was a ******** stupid b***h, cut my friends hours, and then forced him to work out of town to get his full hours, she's stressed out because her daughter is a ******** whore who cheated on her husband with pretty much everyone in town, (she's even flirted with me, wtf?) and so she's got stress, and takes it out on US at work. What in the ********!?!

ALSO, SHE WAS APPARENTLY SUPPOSED TO COME IN AND WORK THE INBETWEEN SHIFT, BUT SHE DIDN'T, SO I GOT ******** IN THE a** AND HAD TO DO EVERYTHING MYSELF, I GOT A BLISTER ON MY TOE, WHICH BLED, AND THE WOUND ON MY FOOT IS TAKING FOREVER TO HEAL BECAUSE I STAND ON IT SO MUCH.

I'm also worried about not getting a-kon weekend off, because my friend is still working out of town on the weekend, and her lazy a** won't work the weekend. "Oh, I can't work the weekend, I need the time off." WHAT THE ********? ******** YOU, I NEED THE TIME OFF. YOU'RE AN OLD b***h WHO CHEATS ON HER HUSBAND, LIKE YOUR WHORE DAUGHTER, WHO THE ******** ARE YOU TO SAY YOU NEED TIME OFF? IF YOU WANT TIME OFF, ******** RETIRE AND LET SOMEONE YOUNG TAKE OVER, SOMEONE THAT'S NOT A COMPLETE ******** b***h.

And then my ******** dad, he said he feels like he's being "taken advantage of", so he quit doing EVERYTHING around the house. I barely have time to sleep, and now I have to start cooking for myself, doing my laundry, go grocery shopping, all this bullshit, when he COULD help out, because all he does is ******** lay around the house, for spend A FEW hours in the shop, ordering my cousins around. ******** HIM.

He even stopped buying ******** food, because he thinks, "I should help out around the house since I get paid, and I don't do anything" -- WHAT THE HELL, WHEN DO I HAVE THE TIME?! The 8 ******** hours between 10PM and 6AM when I should be sleeping? the 8 ******** hours between 6am and 2pm when I should be sleeping? Huh? IS THAT WHEN? I GUESS SO, SINCE I DON'T EVEN GET TO SLEEP THEN.

He's ******** going back to how he used to be when he was younger, still married to my mom. He's getting ******** party party, and taking care of us less and less. Sure, he pays the bills, ********, if he's not doing anything but laying around the house, he can atleast take care of laundry now and then. ******** him, ******** him in the ******** a**.

Then I'm worried about moving to Cali, I'm worried about my relationship with chloe, since she always seems upset about me, I'm worried about her going to raves, even though she promised, i'm starting to regain trust in her little by little, but I'll never let her go to raves or a techno dance again, because I don't want the ******** temptation.

I'm worried about getting my license, I'm worried about having enough money to move to cali, I'm worried about having to lean on Chloe for money, there's just so much bullshit, I'm so close to snapping. Why the hell won't anyone ******** help me out here, but then there's really nothing that can be done, this is just one of life's rough patches, and I need to deal with it = =;; but ******** a man, ******** a, there's so much stress from the STUPIDEST s**t, i'm about to snap.

I know that when I move out, I'm going to have to pay bills, take care of my own food, laundry, etc, but when I move, I won't have so much ******** drama that I can't sleep, and I won't feel so shitty all the time, and doing the stupid little things wont' bug me as much. I'll even be living with someone who can help from time to time, instead of whine about how bad life sucks and that she wants to just die because she's never going to do anything. (dad) = =;