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Hoping it's just a coincidence.. my gut is afraid to tell me.. maybe I'm afraid to know.

If the pieces fall into place, if this is all a sign of what's soon to come...? I'm not strong enough. I won't last.. I'll crumble. I won't be here when she's sober..

I've been here all along... but my heart can't take it again. I'd know if she did it and didn't tell me.. my instincts are too damn strong. *stares at the sky* meh.. if it happens, it happens.. if not, then not.. I'm not going to say anything to her. I'm going to ignore this sign, and pretend it's a coincidence.. there's nothing I can do to stop it, if it's going to happen..

There are others in the world.. they may pale in comparison, but I'll take the substitute if I can't have the real thing.. -sighs again-

This song is my feelings exactly.. heh..

I'm hoping she doesn't read this, it's pointless if she does, just a waste of my words.. everything I say, is a waste.. that's why being a writer is a stupid job.. you're paid to sit there and talk without saying anything..

meh, the stupid event tonight too.. she keeps telling me, "I really want to go, but I wont!" 'cept I have a feeling she's going to last minute anyways.. ******** her.. if she does, I'll be unbelievably pissed.. especially because I know what'll happen..

There isn't a square one anymore.. if we reset, we're going into oblivion, and there's no going back.. .__.

I hate these feelings.. I hate thinking this way.. but it's so strong.. maybe it's my paranoia.. that's what I always tell myself, maybe I'm just paranoid.