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Lilly's Diary
personal thoughts here
Maybe I won't move then.
Meh.. dissapointed that Yuu tried pot. I'll never have any modicum of respect for her again.

Chloe is like, "I don't know what to say, blahblah" and so she got offline since she didn't want to talk about it.

meh. She told me I won't like SF, since it's a hippy city.. and you know what.. maybe I just wont' move then. .__.

Everyone here smokes pot all the time and everything, and I just laugh at them.. but meh. Hearing her say, "You won't like it" hit me hard.. it was very personal.. and so.. ******** it. Maybe I just wont' move then.

******** my heart.. I'm going to close it up so tight that it'll never be opened again, I'm going to permanently seal it, and then I'll be so emotionless I'll just go ******** KILL MYSELF.. = =;

My heart was opening, I felt love and compassion for people, I had a soft spot for an ex, even. A ex who I'd hated. =___________= so much for having an open heart.. it was open.. I was .. normal again.. but now Im hurt, and chloe just twisted the damn knife..

She's always been my only friend I could talk to about this stuff.. and now I can't even talk to her about it, because.. I don't know.

She's either secretly supportive of other people doing drugs or something, even though she said she's anti drug she doesn't seem anti drug.. but yeah, she's either secretly supportive or she doesn't want to be a hypocrite.. I don't ******** know..

******** everyone.. I just want to be alone now.

I don't want emotions.. Im going to perma-close my heart. I'm going to save up, get an apartment here in town.. and that's that. That's how I'm going to spend the remainder of my life.. working in the shell, sitting in an appt. .. alone.





 
 
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