So my oldest uncle called grandpa. They're talking about various stuff. I feel rather uncomfortable when he calls or when I'm around him. I can tell he tolerates me but he doesn't really like me. I've felt this since I was a little kid and I'm not sure why. Maybe it's because my grandparents raised me rather than my real parents so he sees me as a parasite. Maybe he just doesn't like me because I'm my dads kid. He's had something against my dad for as long as I can remember because of personal things. If either of those are his reasons then it's not my fault. I didn't ask to be taken away from my parents. I didn't ask my grandparents to adopt me. I didn't make my dad and him have their falling out. Where I stand now I can understand him hating me. I'm 20 still at home. I'm not going to college, and I don't have a job. That's my fault and for all real purposes I am a parasite. But that really started around my mid teens. Even as a kid I felt like he just tolerated me. He lives out of state so I don't talk to him face to face. Even if I could face him I'm not sure what I would say.
Actually the funny thing is I can accept his view of me more easily than my dads other siblings. My aunt thinks I'm alright I think. Actually I'm not sure how she really feels about me. I've got 2 other uncles that think the world of me. They practically praise me for being such a great person. It's really awkward because I feel like it's all a bunch of rubbish. That's just me though.
Seriously though I am a parasite.I need to change that. My biggest hurdle is that I'm lazy. I really need to change that. Secondly I don't get along with people very well. I get annoyed rather easily when I work with others. I need to work on my people skills if I want to keep a job. I guess there are a lot of other things I should work on.
View User's Journal
Deltas Journal
A random collection of my thoughts
[img:8e5add1871]http://i61.tinypic.com/2uh90fo.jpg[/img:8e5add1871][/align:8e5add1871]
User Comments: [1] [add]
User Comments: [1] [add]
Community Member
Guess what? ninja
MUA HA HA HA HA!
Idk. I'm bored.
There are people who fear the world
People who fear their feelings
People who fear their life
And people who fear love
But the people who fear fear itself
Know no fear at all
http://i52.tinypic.com/2e2dkhy.jpg