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Before you read this entry I will point out this has nothing to do with hackers, cyber terrorists, the internet hate machine, the guy fawkes mask, or any of that other crap associated with the internet group Anonymous.

I feel like I am anonymous, just a faceless entity surrounded by others. I don't show my face online much, but that's not what I mean. I feel like I am nobody surrounded by a world of people. It's been this way most of my life. I am surrounded by people yet at the same time I feel completely alone. In small groups of people I am often ignored because I don't say much and people figure I don't want to talk. It's like even when I am physically present I'm not really there, like some hidden ghost watching the world around me. It's weird. When I am alone I want to be around people. When I am around people I often want to just be alone because I feel like I don't belong.

It's fun to call yourself anonymous. The idea of being unknown makes you mysterious. If you do something you can get in trouble for you can hide more easily. The other side of anonymity is, like I said, a feeling of being an unseen ghost watching the world around you. You want someone to reach out to you and make you feel like you truly belong, but while you search for that person you continue to wander through the world with a feeling that no matter where you are you just don't belong. To the world you might seem like one person, but to one person you might be the world. If that person doesn't know you exist then to the world you are still one person.