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Man, I've really been in a "The Pillows" mood lately.

Might go look for their entire discography. Found one, from 2007. Eh, what the hell, I really like their music.

Anyways, she's talking about getting back together. Who says I even want that, honestly?

She talks about helping me with my laptop, an then me helping her with her car. I'm fine with helping her, it just means I have to budget more carefully. The only reason why I never bother with financials with her, is that she's terrible with money, and she never even seems to be trying to save up to fix her car.

It's something you have to save for, not something you suddenly do in 1 paycheck.

I'm going to start budgetting with her, and we'll start putting money away every check to save up for her car getting fixed. I don't know how many hundreds it'll cost, probably 200-300, maybe more, maybe less, I'm not sure, but we'll get that done. Full body checkup and all of that would be far too expensive to get done, but getting her oil changed, her window fixed, and her car "legal" would be good, so we can start saving for that, one thing at a time.

The laptop, I don't know. She started giving me s**t about it, saying I couldn't afford it. Like... I don't want someone to lecture me about money, but most certainly not someone who can barely hold onto their money as it is. I'm not the one who constantly goes into the negatives, I'm the one who usually has ~$200 by our next paycheck.

Hell, I spent $230 on the steam summer sale, and I still have $200 sitting in the bank.

I'm going to help her with her car, though. That's fine, it's a non-issue to me. Being told, "If I can get you a job in the city so you'll move on blah blah.." I'm like what..? I'm doing fine right now, being able to pay my bills and still having money left over. I'm not the richest person in the world, but I also don't work nearly as much as others, and so I have free time to pursue what I actually want to do, which is both my writing and getting into the games industry. Maybe that's stupid, and naive, and I'm wasting my time, but I'm never going to give up.

I'm just kind of pissed off, right now. I don't like being lectured, especially by someone who is more reckless than myself. Sure, she "knows what to do", but so do I. I'm just far more patient and willing to plan things out, she's more spur of the moment. I actually go through with my plans, while she bails out pretty frequently.

About us getting back together, I don't know. I don't know if I want to, because it's just going to end up being the same old s**t. It's too close to november, and that's when we break up anyways, so why bother? Her desire to ******** other people isn't going to fade by dating me, and if we're dating, she's just going to be miserable because she "can't cheat" then, and so she'll break up with me so she can go ******** someone, feel guilty, then date me again. It's stupid.

Maybe I just want to be single, forever. Maybe I just want to be alone, and die, alone. Maybe I want to buy a lighthouse and live at the beach, writing horror stories and sleeping only the minimum required amounts to function properly. Maybe maybe maybe.