She left her skype on, maybe on purpose, but I doubt it. I checked her skype just to see her messages between her & barry, obviously, because why the ******** wouldn't I?
It's boring blather, but I did notice she's always the one who messages him, despite her saying he always messages her first. Oh, my trust. sad
Not a big deal, but hearing her constantly say "he messages me first all the time!" then seeing the opposite.. sad
It doesn't mean anything, obviously. If I thought it did, this entry would be a lot more passionate. No, that creative well for writing is very, very deep now. I have a pool of pain and sorrow to pull from that almost seems eternal.
I'm thinking her "don't help me with my car if you don't want to get back together" thing is a test, to see if she should just cut ties and leave me. I want to help her for all the help she's given me, but I don't know if I want to get back with her or not.
I'd honestly just tell her to leave me behind to rot, like the rest of this town, but then she'd get upset. :I
"I don't want to leave you though", she says, and it's almost convincing, too! I believe her of course, but I think she's going to leave me here to die regardless. I don't know. I'm just down, I had a long night, and I don't drink so I just have bitterness and snark to ease my nerves.
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Lilly's Diary
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