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Lilly's Diary
personal thoughts here
IF THINGS DON'T ******** IMPROVE I'M DEAD
IF MY LIFE DOESN'T ******** STOP THIS GODDAMN ******** PIECE OF s**t DOWNARD SPIRAL I'M JUST GOING TO LITERALLY KILL MYSELF.

I CANNOT EVEN PRETEND TO BE HAPPY OR OPTIMISTIC ANYMORE BECAUSE EVERYTHING IS THE ******** WORST.

I CAN'T EVEN ******** HAVE A DAY OFF FROM WORK ANYMORE.

I GUESS THEY WANT ME TO KILL MYSELF OR QUIT, BECAUSE THEY KEEP ******** DRAGGING ME INTO THAT GODDAMN PIECE OF s**t ******** HELLHOLE.

I HAD -ONE- ******** day off this week.

I WAS SUPPOSED TO HAVE 4 ******** DAYS OFF IN A ROW, THEN 3 DAYS OFF IN A ROW, BUT NOPE I CAN'T ******** CATCH A BREAK

My schedule went from Mon - Tues - Weds off, Thurs 10-6, Fri 2-10 (8hr flip) Sat 2-10.

I was like, Alright, I work flips but I get sun-tues off afterwards so it's not that bad.

Then the schedule changes.

Mon - Tues off, Weds 6-10, thurs 10-6 fri 2-10 sat 2-10.

Alright, I work 4 hours on weds, not THAT bad, right? I have my 2 days off, atleast, lets stay positive.

They call me.

I work tues night (tonight).

Fine. Tues 10-6, Weds 6-10 (12hr flip) etc.

Schedule just changed again. I work Sat 6am-6pm.

Tues 10pm-6am
Weds 6pm-10pm (12hr flip)
Thurs 10pm-6am
Fri 2pm-10pm (8hr flip)
Sat 6am-6pm (8hr flip, AND a 12hr shift)

By ******** weds, I'm going to end up working sun-tues too. I can ******** see it already.

LETS COMPILE ONTO THIS THAT:

THE INTERNET WENT DOWN FOR ******** ALL REASON
COMPUTER PROBLEMS RUNNING BASIC GAMES FOR ******** ALL REASON
BEING FORCED TO DO s**t WITHOUT BEING ASKED IF I WANTED TO OR NOT (THE DOGS, NOT A BIG DEAL BUT ******** YOU FOR NOT ASKING ME, FOR FORCING IT ON ME)
LOSING MY ONLY FRIENDS IRL
FOUND OUT THE ONE PERSON I LOVE WAS BASICALLY USING ME

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOO DOWNARD SPIRAL

I CAN'T EVEN SEE ANY POSITIVITY ANYMORE

THERE'S LITERALLY NOTHING POSITIVE I CAN TAKE FROM THIS

LITERALLY NOTHING EXCEPT THAT I MIGHT FINALLY HAVE THE BALLS TO KILL MYSELF





 
 
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