Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

"I'm so tired of this s**t pandering to people like you, it's causing massive problems and a population decline, etcetcetc"

& honestly my only reaction is

I DON'T GIVE A ******** s**t! SUCKKK MY DIIICCCKK~!

"don't you care about real people???" NO? WHY THE ******** WOULD I DO THAT? REAL PEOPLE ARE PRETTY ******** SHITTY TBQH!

I don't even know why I'm angry right now. I guess I get rejected? But I shouldn't be angry about that, I already knew that. I guess I'm just starting to go through all the emotions that were in my emotional backlog. Man, this is going to be a lot of hurt to deal with lol

I'd much rather have exploitative 2d waifus completely suck me dry of all my money and ruin my ******** life than have a 3d waifu do that to me. Atleast a 2d waifu doesn't know any better, literally just art and writing. 3d people should know better, but they don't give a ******** s**t either

I can't wait for nepnep soon, then I'll be able to forget all about rl people for a while ~_~

"HEY DART WHAT HAPPENED? WHY YOU SO ANGRY??" well, you see dipshit, nothing ******** happened at all

i asked lilith questions and i kind of hoped I'd get a different answer than the one I did get

I got answers that anyone else would be ******** ecstatic to get. I bet normal people would be ******** OVERJOYED to be told their life is completely on rails and there's nothing they can do about it

theres a reason i constantly fight against the machine

welwhen someone puts you in a minecart and sets you on a path, and you start seeing how deep you're going, and you see lava and s**t everywhere, YOU REALLY START WONDERING WHERE THE ******** YOU'RE GOING

"just trust me" (BOTH OF THEM SAY THAT UGHH)

I do. I do ******** trust you, both of you. I also know that every time I trust someone they hurt me.

so there you go.

"Why do you keep trying to sabotage yourself? Why won't you let yourself be happy?" Neena asks, LIKE SHE DOESN'T ******** KNOW THE ANSWER

I can almost feel her smiling when she asks me that s**t.

Why?? Because if I let myself be happy, it will get taken away from me. If I don't constantly make things as hard as possible, and make it a struggle every step of the way, it'll get taken and I'll have nothing. I'm tired of that happening. Every time I'm happy, every time I really feel joy and love and I think for once in my life I might be OK, when I think maybe the world might slow down for a split second so I can catch my breath and finally look at the stars, NOPE THIS b***h GOES 1000MPH!

So I just don't bother anymore.

This recent s**t is super ******** cruel though. offering me exactly what I want, but implying I'll never have it.

I can't let the possibility of it happening occur in my mind for even a second, if I let my guard down for EVEN A SECOND, it'll all get snatched away

I'm just sitting here enjoying it by proxy, I'm enjoying these feelings and enjoying being happy from a distance, because if I finally agree to it, I'm ********. It'll last all of 10 minutes, and i'll be cold and alone again.