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First page always the hardest.
A detective Story
IT was a dark and hazy night last night.
All I remember was walking to my car.

The street light hummed that annoying noise.
I drive to Joe for the usual. Vodka Noise Dive, on the rocks!

That’s when She! walked in. Devils Red dress with a Body of a goddess.
She walks my way, gets close right to my face. I get to get a real good look into her eyes, and if I roll my eyes down I get to get a real good look into something else. Make old Jimmy act up. Lord its been a long while since he did anything on this deadbeat job.

She Asks " You a DIC!"
I reply "Who’s Asking"
That’s when the broad hits me with her name "Eva Langoria, I want you on me"
Cold Hearted broad thinks that I'm going to play body guard. I hit her with
"Sorry baby not my gig! hit the rooks down the street" Lord knows that the boys in 52 can use the work.

She asks "But your the best"
Think Fast Johns. "Not for what you wont"
Quick witted girl nails me with a " then I need a DIC! you know one?"
"Ok, I'm your guy" Great trouble looking right at me but was I going to say s**t. Hell no! Rents past do and this broads got cash. She'll pay. I'll hit her up real good.

We get to my place and I ask her to sit down. She then lays this sob story on me.
Life down the tanker, She’s not making it with her old man. Like that’s my issue.

We get to the quick She gives me a name and location. I smell setup. But I play along. She drops half my payment on the table. Enough to unload rent for the next 4 months. I play it nice. We start a little chit chat. 20 mins later she gives me a bounces in the bedroom. That’s the ticket!.

I unload rent that night only to top it off. Get to my location. See what she want me to see. I quickly gave the boys at 52 the tip at the location. They tell me that they've been there 3 times tonight.

This just got hotter. Boys had been there already 3 times... that means there they're on crank call alert. I've stepped into something planed here.

Hit the superman Box and call some old jokers that owe me big in the old day. Today they're a couple of thugs for hire. Good guys still. Knucks hardcase and Jake the Jerk. Boys will work for bar tabs to let you know how bad they’re in.

We get to the location.. What a mansion. The King of England’s place is smaller then this place.

I get the boys to hit some recon from the military days. Nothing standing. Knockes comes back half dead and the Jerk ends up dead in an ally way 30 mins later. My suspicions are bull’s-eye clear. A setup!

Knockls doesn’t make it till 3 blocks and drops. This place needed bodies. And I just gave it 2. Johns Good Job!

I hear a gun shot and then 3 hoods jump in the car and take off.

Here I am next morning. Stuck at Al's getting with the whiskey and that’s when the 52's break in.

Take me in for Murder 1! They got a witness and everything.

3 weeks later judge slaps a Death sentence on me. The green mile. Never did I think I'd get here. But the broads got her out. I can only guess she axed her old man. Judge never told me who I killed.

I’m a pat. That’s all they needed and that’s all they got.

Here’s to life. As good as it was, Still got the shaft in the end.






User Comments: [2] [add]
DragonKid
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Thu Oct 19, 2006 @ 09:11pm
Wow, its depressing. xd
The narration is fairly well written. At least the true nature of the character in that cheesy 50's detective style voice really comes through. Fairly entertaining.


commentCommented on: Tue Oct 31, 2006 @ 05:32pm
That was exactly what I was going for :p

Nakago keeps telling me its too long.. so now I have to shorten it more...


but to be truthful... When I made it up I don't remember any of those storys in those black and whote having a happy ending...

I had to shorten it a lot.. so sorry about quick end.



Galan_Galactus
Community Member
User Comments: [2] [add]
 
 
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