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A long Long time ago.... like 20 minutes ago

I sent cadet Jenkins to get the credits form the ships special storage compartment.... (Joe's spare pare of pants) ... for the space pizza.....Hummm.

I look into the eyes of my pizza delivery guy and say "I'll be back" I look for Jenkins..... Little did I relaize that the pizza guy turns this into a intergalactic gun fight. I whip out my Space Ozzie 5000 conveniently name "Mr. Bubble Popper" and I fire.... only to my surprise see bubbles fire at the pizza boy. A DIRECT HIT! I run ----> FAST! with the Pizza! That would be that last time I spend my life’s savings on a piece of plastic like this crap. Life save fire power MY a**. When I catch that Old chines lady I' make her pay for selling me this toy. I should have clued in that there was something wrong because it was plastic

Get to hanger 51. The SHIP! its GONE! Something MUST have happened to Jenkins! Robbery? Theft? Jenkins is in trouble and its up to me to help him!

I quickly look for clues to see if there was a struggle! The dust on ground looks like there was a brwal of a sort. I follow the dust scuffles and it leads to the control panel for to controls for the doors. Curious I whip out my Cpt. Crunch detective kit.

It would appear to me a definite imprint! 2 Large balloons imprints smashed together.... with a familiar aroma.... like almost that of a toilet.... OH MY GOD!

Jenkins was Stipped Down! He and my ship where Hijacked! I feel a breeze waft my way and see some cloth in the distance. I was no time I scurry to it in a fast anime leap! ( Joe scurry on the ground on all fours like a 2 year old towards the women’s bra on the floor) I examine it really closely.... I have neve seen cloths like these!... in my 22 yours of life I was not prepared to fight the Galactic reptilian Republic! But how can these lizards wear such things???? Very interesting. I must continue to see where they went. (Joe examines the control logs of the Hanger bay and luckily stumbles onto the Next destination)

Omega Supreme! That’s their Location! but?? (Joe ponders) how are they going to get Jenkins into my toy at my parents house?? I have no Idea where that even is. They moved 5 years back and didn't tell me.

Unless there is a place called Omega Supreme! ( Joe thinks to himself) But that would just be silly who would be so stupid to call a section of the galacxy Omega Suprime? (<--- Joe's still thinking) That’s so gay! It’s kind of like Timmy’s brothers Idea of making the penny on planet Earth more pricy then the dime. What a Retard!

(Joe make runs to the Bay doors and runs out into another hanger. ) There I am on my way to save Jenkins! I see something. (Joe spots another Ship just about to take off, Joe thinks to him self ) Better get there attention. (Joe Yells ) Hey You Yes You I saw your mom and she has a message for you! ( The pilot sees joe and wastes no time. He cuts the power to his vessile and opens the door to give this Class A moron that ran onto his runway the yelling of his life)

(Joe walks in and says )We have to save him lets go I'll drive! ( the captin yells ) WHAT THE ********! GET OFF MY SHIP! (Joe replys with) Eat lead reptillian b*****d! (and so joe oulls out his plastice bobble gun and nails the captim in the eyes. At whitch then kicks the captin off the ship.) (Joe starts to talk to him self) Ok! where to now? me I have no clue..... If I was a reptile where would I go? This is a hard one. (PLease readers Joes a retard all this time he's still talking to him self. It would be safe to say that he lucked in and found the qardenits to the location of his ship. also there was 12 year old stolaway girl on board that would visit joe while he slept feeding him and changing his cloths. Joe later started calling this girl his guardian angle and he wished he could marry this angle once this mess was over......................OK I agreed to nariate this pice of s**t but COME ON! Kiddy porn! can we cut this crap out? Like seriouly! No! What? I can lose my job? ok continuing!

Joe finally visits the location of Omega suprime and thinks he lands safly with a Dive bomb crash in the most populated area of the most heavyest trafic section in human histoy. joe and his guardian angle saved themselves by jetting out of an escape pod while the crash happened.)

(Joe mutters to himslef) Well that went accounding to plan ( <-- Joes full of s**t people. If you have a kid like joe abort him at his age when discovered! You'd be saving yourself and the human race)

OK now to get Jenkins. IF I where Jenkins where would I go? hmmmmm (Joe thinks....I hope he pops a loob in his head) The TOY distrit! (Joe races to the Toy district only to find that the ship he crashed nuked the city! Joe and maybe 59 people out of 9 billion are left alive. joe for some bizzare reason knows that hangers can withstand such a blow. He races over to the hangers and finds one ship on the registry, A 1. Big Bird. at doors 16. Joe makes it to the doors and finds his ship. opens the doors and walks in. Joe makes his way to the bedrooms and finds Jenkins naked with a naked HUMAN woman! <-- Imagin that. Joe yells to the top of his lungs)
Die reptillian scum! (Honestly you know what heppened next. Blind naked girl on the floor and Jenkins trying to protect her..... no need for details. Jenkins explains)
Captin NO shes my WIFE...... more like your dad's wife (Joe's new mom... this naked woman on the floor isn only 19 years old. Jenkings has a taste for the maried wemen. Joe looks down and takes a GOOOD LONG LOOK Ya no surpries and says) MOM?

(So ends another space opra.... a 22 year old hookups with a 12 year old, a massive metropilas was desimated to nothing and Joe and Jenkins gets to share his mom. )

kiddy faticsy, insest, and mass stupidity what more you want!
I'll tell you what I want! Someone to put a bullet into joes head ya thats what I want lucky my a**...............

EDITORS NOTES:
I'm sorry you had to read the narratores personal thoughts as we had him committed..... editing these passages whold have costed too much so we shiped this book with them in. We hope you enjoyed the Space adventure Of Joe Hopeless and look forword to his next adventures.


Thanks you
Jim Berchuits editor-in chief