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Ah, forbidden love. So romantic. heart

Interesting plot tool, forbidden love, it always works. Well if your audience is the Romantic, sentimental type anyway. Then again everyone loves a good scandal. Look at soap operas, it’s a scandal that they’re allowed to be broadcast, but I digress.

Elders? Old people or just a bunch of people that feel like lording their greater knowledge and ‘apparent’ wisdom over everyone? No, I’m joking but I can’t wait to find out more.

I like the storyline so far, I think it’s good, though it has a lot of potential that I feel is undeveloped thus far but I think it can be worked upon with relative ease. You have talent; I can’t deny that, though I feel you borrow heavily from several well established sources, most people do, though there is of course a tinge of your own ideas. I may be wrong, you may not even know the sources I’m speaking of so all these ideas may be your own and what I’ve deduced merely coincidental but I’m pretty sure you know what I mean.

Anyway now to make my criticisms helpful. I won’t pretend to be able to see the future and thus what claim I know which direction you’re taking the story in but I think you’re aiming to build upon the characters and their interpersonal relationships over anything else and the hard ships placed upon these relationships, a formula that has been successful for many, and I think it’s what you’ll be best at. I may be wrong but I’m just stating what I think, you shouldn’t have asked me to be honest; I’m rambling on. I study classic literature, this is what happens when I’m asked to make a comment on written works. Anyway, I like it.