I don't know what to write other than I'm so ******** uncaring. I only care about myself and I hate myself, but that might be a lie I made up to myself just to feel better. I know I don't seem suicidal, but I've been thinking about more and more. At school it's like one big drama TV show. No one can see if another is hurting unless they cry. I want to cry, I'm desperate enough. Why the ******** do I need attention? I have no ******** idea. I am me. I hate. I can't think. My mind. My sister is going to ask whats wrong with me and this'll end. This always ends then it starts again. I'm afraid. Are we going to die this very moment? Am I going to die and let all my hard work go to waste? At the very least I want to kill myself. You all have your problems so ignore this entry, I'm ranting. I want to keep typing and typing till my arms fall off, so I can cry, about the pain. I feel nothing inside. So why worry about me? You have your own problems. I can't understand anything any more. Why? I want to foget, but that's impossible. Just impossible. I want to leave some sort of mark on this world, but I can't. I know I can't. No matter what. I'm insignificant. My friends really don't care, nor do they understand. I can't print this without getting caught by my sister. My friends don't care. Do I have friends? Well yes, but they I don't think should know about this. I'm posting this on the internet so they don't see, or if they do they forget. Why is an idoit 12 year old like me thinking like this? I have a good life... What the hell is wrong with me? Oh and crushes, yes I have some. I will never end up telling them. I have to leave my damn school, but I'll miss everyone there even though I hate them. What is wrong with me? Can't I talk about something else other than myself? I don't think so. I wanna tell someone that I have a crush on them, even if I hardly know them. But I feel as if it's so pointless, I feel so pointless. Oh my god. What's wrong with me? Why? Why am I so self centered? Ugh...I just hate this... What's wrong with humans? The world? Why? I can't stand humans especailly myself. God dammit! I need a ******** normal life! Now I only have a bunch of meaningless crap in my brain that's as pointless as the war. Whatever. Bye.
I Wish You Darkness · Wed May 02, 2007 @ 02:48am · 5 Comments |