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Rambling Flower a silly little journal when I got stuff on my mind. Vents, rants, drawings & doodles...odd little thoughts...maybe a few stories/fanfictions here and there. (btw...Fiori = Flower...ehhh? eh? Clever girl~ imsosorry)


Fiorizan
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Uhh...lmao
8:53PM
05/02/2022

Feelin like I just woke from a cryo sleep what a time capsule lmao. It's been uhhh...4 - 5 years since I last logged onto Gaia eek
I feel a little silly adding another entry... but it's interesting going back and reading whats been going thru my head since the last entry and idk I guess down the line I'd come back again to see the differences a few years can make lmaoooo.

Still with the same man from the last entry <3 We've been together for 4 years and we've been living together for almost 2 years. Still at the same job but now in a leadership role. Lost most of my friends over the years. That was hard because I thought they were my friends - but slowly over time I came to realize I was never treated like one and it took a toll on my mental health big time (I lived with some of the "friends" for a while).

My best friend moved across the country to be with their partner and im honestly very happy for them. They're a great couple and my friend is a lot happier and thriving out there...I do miss them a lot thought. It's a bit hard keeping up over messanger but I know we'll always be friends.

Made a few new work friends but I'm too shy to ask to hang out with them outside of work lmao It sucks because one of them moved to a new state to launch a new building and another one recently resigned..I'm kicking myself for not taking more of an initiative to hang out outside of work..I still have that fear that I'm noting more than a burden and people are just nice to me out of pity lmao...

I've been dealing with chronic pain for 5 years and I've recently finally gotten an answer as to why - Inflammatory arthritis - but I'm just happy I finally have an answer and a plan to deal with it as my pain managements were starting not to work anymore.
My mental health has improved. Still have those days but a lot less frequently. My psychiatrist left the practice a couple years ago tho that sucked. I've never found another that I liked as much as her.

All in all it's been a bunch of ups and downs thru the years. Some days I feel like I'm just trying to survive. But I'm Still Here. I'm in a better spot that I was all those years ago and it will get better. I want to be here.


For some reason Gaia says its May 3rd..what no dont do this to me my mondays are wednesdays dies
9:21PM
05/02/2022





 
 
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