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I feel responsible, if i move away from my family and let my siblings suffer our pain all alone. I am responsible for cheering my siblings up and letting them be happy. I am responsible for holding secrets that I believe both my parents should know... I feel the need to protect my family from grudges, but I can't do that since both of my parents seem to want to kill each other. I wish they could resolve things, but that won't happen until they realise what they have been doing. My siblings and I know of most of whats been happening, but are still shunned down by both families in the dark. They believe that our ways have changed and make us work harder than anybody else. I wish to move away and think things over, but when I get back I know things will be worse. So, I'll stay in my position of being the oldest and sit in a dark corner or cage yearning to be noticed not as a girl who's trying to be cheerful for her family, but as someone who has time to notice things and forgive.