• Hermes walked along the marble halls of the Palace of the Gods on Mount Olympus (now residing over the Empire State Building). His winged sandals were noisy in the empty corridors.
    "Why is it always me?" muttered Hermed. "Just because I'm the Messenger God doesn't mean Dionysus can't deliver his own mail to Apollo. Stupid God of Wine."
    He continued walking down the hallway, numbered rooms off to his right. The numbers are odd - he was in the male side of the Palace. All the rooms had symbols on them. He just came from Dionysus' room, which had grapes on the door. He already passed by doors that had a Trident, a Lightning Bolt, his own room, which had a Cadeceus. His destination was Apollo's room, which had the Sun on it. But he heard loud music being played in the room he was passing by now. He looked, and found a wild boar's head on the door.
    What could Ares possible be doing? thought Hermes. He tried the door, but it was locked. No matter. He was the God of all that traveled the roads, and that included thieves. He picked the lock easily, and silently opened the door a little.
    He could not believe his eyes. He was staring at the broad back of Ares, the God of War. His massive double-bladed sword was on the floor, as well as his biker's outfit. Ares was wearing something that looked somewhat strange on him: a toga.
    What the- thought Hermes, but he suddenly just saw exactly "what" was.
    His voice so loud that he could wake up all the Gods, Ares was singing. Hermes could hear his voice blasting out of the room like a boombox with the volume on max.
    "Tell me why ain't nothing but a heartache!" sang Ares. "Ain't nothing but a mistake! Tell me why-!".
    Hermes could not believe it. The God of War was singing Backstreet Boys? If he was practicing for Aphrodite, reasoned Hermes, then his chances are slim to none.
    "Hermes, what are you doing here?" asked a familiar voice. Hermes jumped, spun around, and said, "Shhhh!" Then he saw he was talking to Apollo.
    Apollo's headphones hung over his eyes, his shades resting on top of his head.
    "I was expecting a message from Dionysus," he said. Then he looked at the door. Isn't this Ares'-"
    "I NEVER WANNA HEAR YOU SAY I WANT IT THAT WAY!"
    Apollo raised his eyebrows, then peeked inside Ares' room. The Sun God's mouth opened and closed several times before finally stifling a laugh.
    "No way," said Apollo, restraining his laughter. "Ares has musical taste, doesn't he?
    "I know," said Hermes, his elfish eyes glinting with mischief. "I wonder what would happen if the other Gods found out?"
    "If the other God's found out what?" asked a female voice behind them. Hermes and Apollo jumped, spun around, and raised their lips to their fingers. Standing before them was Artemis, Apollo's twin sister.
    "Hey little sis," said Apollo.
    "I am not your little sis," snapped the Goddess of the Hunt. "What are you two doing h-"
    "Am I your fire? Your one desire? Yeah I know, it's tooooo late. But I, want it that way. TELL ME WHY-!"
    "Was that Ares?" asked Artemis, gasping.
    Apollo grinned. "Yeah, sis. Can you spread the word? But make sure Aphrodite doesn't find out. She'd only be embarrassed."
    It was a rare thing, when Artemis smiled when hearing one of Apollo's insane ideas.
    "Indeed," she said. She went to get the other Olympians.
    "Wow," said Hermes, grinning broadly. "It's funny. The God of War, of all things..."
    "Hermes, Apollo, how are you?" asked another familiar voice. Apollo and Hermes turned to find Poseidon, Athena, Hephaestus, Zeus, Dionysus, Hera, and Artemis assembled around them. Hermes wondered for a minute how Artemis got them here so fast.
    "These six were all I could find," said Artemis, "I don't know where the others were."
    "It's cool," said Apollo.
    "Hey, you guys," said Hermes, "Check this out."
    The other Olympians peeked through the door. And immediately their eyes watered. Poseidon chuckled, Zeus looked like he was about to burst (which was suprising, for he had no sense of humor), and Hephaestus was leaning on the wall for support. Only Athena stood like stone, somewhat stern. Dionysus looked mildly interested. Hera just smiled.
    "Isn't it hilarious?" asked Hermes. All the present Gods nodded except for Athena.
    "Hermes?" asked Poseidon. "Can I see your cell phone?"
    "Yeah, sure," said Hermes, handing it over to the Sea God.
    "It has a built-in video camera right?" asked Poseidon.
    "Naturally," said the God of Thieves, smiling.
    Poseidon flipped it open, pressed a few buttons, and held it through the opening in the doorway and held it there for a moment.
    Then he gave it back to Hermes, and whispered a few instructions into his ear. Then he gave him a slip.
    "Here's Percy's number," said the Earthshaker. "He should find this amusing." Hermes grinned broadly.
    "Uncle, is that wise?" said Athena. "Ares hates your son enough already. No doubt Perseus Jackson would show this to my daughter, and the sons and daughters of Ares."
    "Do not worry," said Poseidon. "Ares knows well enough that even his strength is nothing compared to the sea. Percy taught him a good lesson about that."
    "TELL ME WHYYYYYYYYYYYYYY! AIN'T NOTHING BUT A HEARTACHE!"
    The Goddess of Wisdom and Warfare raised her eyebrows then walked away. She looked back and said, "Make sure that Annabeth sees every little detail of this spectacle. No doubt it will amuse her."
    Hermes grinned. "No problem."
    "Can you download that to my computer?" asked Hephaestus. "I would love to put that on my Olympian T.V. Network."
    "Of course!" said Hermes, his elfish face grinning. Hephaestus patted him on the shoulder and limped away.
    Zeus chuckled, and Hera smiled.
    "I must say," said the Lord of the Skies, "This was indeed interesting to watch. But I am afraid I must retire."
    "Go on ahead," said Apollo. Zeus walked away with Hera.
    "If only Hades could see this," sighed Artemis.
    "Don't say his name!" hissed Apollo, Hermes, and Dionysus. Poseidon had already left to send an Iris-Message to his son.
    Then a feeling of dread swept over them. Dionysus sighed.
    "Too late," he said.
    "Who started the party without me?" said the Lord of the Dead, as he emerged from nothing.
    "Hades," said Hermes, exasperated. "It's not even the winter solstice yet."
    "Eh, didn't have much to do in the Underworld anyway," said Hades. "Nobody has died in the past two hours, which is something like a miracle. So why are you High-and-Mighty Gods crowded outside the God of Brawn and No Brains?
    "TELL ME WHY, I NEVER WANNA HEAR YOU SAY I WANT IT THAT WAY! Cause I want it thaaaaaat waaaaaaaaaay. TELL ME-"
    "Oh," said Hades, his eyes widened. Then he grinned cruelly. "This is going to make front page of the Underworld Tribune! I can see it now: 'God of War Sings a Sweet Tune!' HA! Even the dead critics are gonna love it." Then he faded away, cackling, back to his realm. Dionysus stood there for a moment, as if pondering, then went away back to his own room.
    "Thank goodness he's gone," muttered Artemis. "He smells way too much like dead people." Then she left for the other side of the palace to her own room. Apollo and Hermes saw her go, then realized that there was no music in Ares' room anymore. Hermes peeked and saw that Ares was waving at the wall, as if telling an invisible audience "Good-bye".
    "We better go," whispered Hermes to Apollo. Apollo nodded, and they both went to the Sun God's room. Right after Apollo's door closed, Ares' was thrown wide open. The God of War himself peeked out and looked left and right.
    "Funny," he said. "I could've sworn I heard some voices." Ares checked the clock in his room. It was 5:30 a.m.
    "Not a bad time for some waffles," said Ares, walking down the halls. "I hope Aphrodite is already up."