• CHAPTER 139 - A CERTAIN FLASH OF HOPE

    Survival, just like life, is a roller coaster. It can rise, it can fall, it could make you panic. You wonder when the anticipation will end.

    Leaning over the pot again, I heaved out more bile. My stomach was wanting to flip inside out not only from pain, but from major stress. I was still stressing out over Kira and his bipolar survival rate. The only thing anybody would hear from Kira would either be groans of pain or shouts of agony. Matsuda had wrapped my foot and ankle and fixed a brace on it as well. As soon as Matsuda was finished with that, he bandaged Kai's shirt on and Kai preceded by putting on a new shirt. I took my time to lie on the couch until the pain in my stomach would halfway dissipate.

    "Kai, perhaps you should accommodate Arisa to your bedroom," Matsuda suggested as my eyelids were starting to droop.

    "No," I protested, grabbing Kai's sleeve. "No, I can't be near Kira..."

    "You need sleep," Kai whispered to me. "You're sick."

    I shook my head, "I want to go home," I squeezed my eyes shut. "I want to go back with you."

    "Arisa, we can't move you for a little while," Matsuda smiled sentimentally. "You've caught a bug and your leg is probably completely numb."

    He was right; I couldn't even flex the muscles in my left leg. Without another word of protest from me, Kai scooped me into his arms. Once my leg was moved by Kai picking me up, a tingly sensation buzzed through my leg as though it were asleep. Matsuda stopped Kai for a moment and gently removed the brace I had worn on my right wrist since I encountered Minoru and Kaiba in the fun house. I moved my wrist around, forgetting that it was even broken.

    "Let's get you to bed," Kai suggested.

    I leaned my heavy head against his chest as he swiftly glided up the stairs. He managed to open the bedroom door with one hand and I flinched as I heard another groan of pain coming from the bedroom across the hallway. I gripped Kai's shirt harshly and gnawed on my bottom lip until the noise went away. It hurt me so much to hear Kira suffering so badly; I now knew how Orihime felt when she could hear suffering but couldn't see to help them. But how could she help Kira?

    Kai placed me on the bed, grabbed me a nightgown from the dresser, and handed it to me, "Get into this before you pass out; I'll go get a pot for you."

    And at that, he disappeared. Sighing, I slid my shirt off and pulled the hair tie out of my hair and shook my head. I frowned after looking down at my pants; how could I take them off right if I couldn't stand up? I heaved out another sigh and unbuttoned my pants, followed by unzipping the zipper. I thought for a moment and stood up quickly. My pants were halfway down before I tumbled over from the numbness in my left leg. I inhaled sharply at the odd feeling in my leg and for the throbbing pain in my elbows. Before I could slip my pants off and get into my nightgown, a heard a poof and feared the worst. Yep, Kai was standing at the door of the bedroom with a new pot in his hand, staring at me in confusion.

    "Um..." I blushed. "I-I can't stand up."

    Kai pursed his lips together to suppress his laughter, "I suppose I shouldn't have permitted you to do it on your own," he set the pot on the bed. "Let me assist you."

    "No, no, I'm fine!" I panicked, trying to back away but was unsuccessful.

    Kai lowered onto his knees and sighed impatiently while rolling his eyes, "Calm down, I'm not going to bite,"

    "I-I'm not afraid of that!" I snapped at him.

    "Wow, Arisa," he frowned.

    He gripped onto the waistband of my pants and started pulling them off from my knees. I gave up and sat still while he carefully removed my jeans. Kai looked up at me and had the look of suppressed laughter on his face again.

    "Those hickeys are awfully dark," he chuckled. "Amusing."

    "Shut up; I can never reveal my neck again for, like, the next week." I complained.

    "Stop me next time," he challenged with a smirk.

    He was good; he was distracting me from the pain of Kira's pain. Instead, I was freaked out about the fact that I was halfway lying on the ground with matching lingerie right in front of Kai with my horrible hickeys from last night still revealed. I always appreciated the fact that Kai could distract me easily, but I was also irritated at it; it made me feel like I was a bad person for not thinking of Kira for a short moment.

    "Let's get this on you," Kai snapped me back into awareness.

    He slid my nightgown on me and held me up on my feet to help me pull the nightgown down. He laid me down on the bed and climbed under the covers with me. We laid down face-to-face in silence, merely looking at each other. The worry was still palpable in the room, especially in Kai's eyes. We both furrowed our eyebrows together at the same time as we realized we hadn't heard any noises from Kira's room in a while.

    "Is he dead?" I whispered.

    "I can't tell," Kai's face was shifting to concern. "He doesn't have a heartbeat so I can't tell by listening."

    I buried my face in Kai's chest, "How long would it take him to recover if he survives?"

    Kai thought for a moment, rubbing my lower back, "I'm not sure. It's all dependent on will power."

    "Like when Takeuchi was in that coma?" I looked up at Kai will tears on the verge of spilling.

    Kai ran his thumb over one of my eyebrows, "Yes,"

    "What if Kira thinks his life is insignificant? What if he thinks he has nothing to live for?" my voice started shaking. "He hates being half Vampire; wouldn't that mean he wants to die?"

    Kai thought for another moment, "I believe he'll fight because he's still in love with you,"

    I paused, "Still?"

    Kai nodded, "Yes, but, really, he's not in any pain because of that," he thought again. "I suppose he's more in love with you in the means of protection than actual infatuation I have with you."

    "You don't want to protect me?" I rose an eyebrow, trying to guilt him.

    "Of course I do, but..." he sighed. "It's complicated. I suppose you could say that Kira's love towards you isn't necessarily the desire for intimacy any longer."

    "If he dies, it's all my fault," I mumbled, burying my face in Kai's chest again.

    "Quit it, Arisa," he demanded coldly. "No matter what happens tonight, it's all caused by Mayura and Hitoshi."

    I choked on the lump in my throat, "I love you,"

    "I love you more," Kai whispered and rubbed my head. "You're so precious."

    I didn't answer him; I was too concentrated on listening to the silence flooding in from the other room. If Kira ended up losing his will power to live--if Orihime could help him first--I would never be able to live that down. I'd never recover from the feeling of guilt. Had I never returned to work before running into Ai over a month ago, none of this would ever have happened. But then Ai would be dead.

    "Nana?" little Ai poked her head into the bedroom. "Nana, are you awake?"

    I gripped onto Kai's shirt and he looked over to Ai and nodded, "She is,"

    Ai tiptoed over timidly and slowly climbed onto the bed. Kai moved backwards a little and Ai sneaked in between us. She faced me with concern all over her face; her cheeks were crusted with tears. I brushed some of her hair behind her ear and embraced her, spilling a few tears of my own. She was just as worried about Kira as Kai and me were.

    "Don't cry, please," I pleaded. "You'll make me cry."

    "I don't want uncle Kira to die," she sniffed. "I really like him."

    "As do I," I sighed. "Just don't give up on him, please."

    I was such a hypocrite.