A Vampires Love

• Artist: Aprodite_Angel
• Description: A young vampire in love with a human must she diobey her father and marry him and if at all possible turn him into a vampire too. You'll find out when you read the book.
• Date: 11/30/2008
• Tags: vampires love

As a young bloodsucker in the Roman realm I fell in love with a human. He was young and handsome with long dark hair.I fell in love almost immediatly.As did he but, my father the leader of our vampire clan would not allow his daughter to marry a human.I was locked in my room for seven days with only maids to drink from.After those seven days I realized that I must kill my father.After I murdered him I set off and found my love.We kissed so soft and sweet like we had kissed before.While he was sleeping one night I snuck into his house and changed him.Then the next night told him that they had broke into my house and changed me to.We were soon married.Even though I still regret the murder of my father I regret more the murder of husband.

Comments

[xOxOxO__GaBrIeLLe__xOxOxO]

pls. don't be offended but
tis is too short.....

[Jam the Wolf of Darkness]

Way, Too, Short. I've written about characters in passages twice that long. You need way more story. Its like your trying to win a prize for shortest story. MORE DESCRIPTION. Im sorry but I can only give you a 1/5

[olddaysgone]

psh
you alls are just bad-mind
this is great
better than anything i ever made

u could take there advice i guess
but it was still exciting!

[45_Nads_4Eva]

right that didn't really make sense you need to make it a bit more exciting and you need to use more exciting volcaublary and it was very dull. need to work on it a bit more.

[Fayne Darkness]

Okay...yeah...ummmm... It did not make too much sense because you repeat yourself alot and the plot line is very short and breif. I agree with the other commenters that this is something that is not worth commenting...but if you would add more details and longer entries... then good comments would unfold. This story is somewhat too short although I like the plot with vampires. I'm sorry, but I can only give 2/5 for this post.

[x-CommonDenominator-x]

uhmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.........
work on more discriptive words and also.....
make it a bit more exciting..

[Tears in the Rain]

Umm.No offense, but I don't think this is very good. You say, "regret" and "murder"a lot. Maybe you should get better descriptive words.