• PROLOGUE

    Back then, vampires used to be seen as those albino, red-eyed bloodsuckers that exploded in the sunlight. They would go wandering around, bite some unsuspecting human, and use them as their mortal slave. Real typical stuff back then, and it was cool.

    But nowadays, there are “vegetarian” vampires who feed off of deer and get teenage girls pregnant like some sick b*****d. Plus, thanks to that lady who wrote Twilight, a vampire sparkles when they get hit by sunlight.

    I mean, seriously, all that crap combined isn’t even half true! How do I know all of this? Well, what’s the most logical answer?