As The Piano Plays

• Artist: Cottoncandyocbra3
• Description:
• Date: 04/17/2009
• Tags: piano plays

Trapped here alone in darkness, candlelight my guide
Bishop cast your spell on my soul, and heal me
These wounds spread wide, yet not for the eye to see
Feelings swirling chasm, for what hell do I pride?

Sitting intently in front of this epochal instrument
Olden piano wood framed soothing touch
Shooting shadows of sparse warmth on my detriment
Cast chillingly alone, too much for these halls to bear

Commanding to play such music, never more
So I dash my hands against the ivory keys!
Strike dissonant chords of atonal atrophy
Hammering my heart-wrench upon the fore

Distant, weeping beside my musical tomb
The relic lies quite, stark silent wail
For my life's years it should finally fail
Calling out beyond the walls of this barren room

Dirty tears crash the floor laden with dust
Hypothermia of the mind chokes my sight
Dreams of tickling sweet take flight
For my ethereal muse I shall always lust

Crying on the ground, huddled in my vain
Seems ghosts have taken pity on this eve
They compose for me a requiem whilst I grieve
Within my misery their melody will remain

Screaming alone for the eternal days
As nights are no longer distinguishable
Vehement depression almost whimsical
As the piano plays...

Comments

[hiran cc]

The diction and the pacing of your poem is wonderful! I enjoyed reading it very much.
However, perhaps I'm a bit too stupid to grasp the images and many would probably disagree with me, but there were a few stanzas that seemed to just be elegant words randomly strung together. It felt like you were unsure of exactly what kind of image you were creating, making it jump around a little too much.
Again, great job, and this is a billion times better than what I could ever write ^^

[Casca 7]

One thing that you could describe is how the piano is like a tomb. Rather than throwing a bunch of images into it, try focusing one on image in order to explore it fully. This is still my favorite piece thus far. Good job!

[Casca 7]

This is definitely my favorite piece by you so far. There's a more mature tone to it than your earlier works. The middle kind of drifts off topic for a bit but I like the way you bring it back together in the end. That is definitely the right use of the ... The rhyme is nice too and gives it some structure and since you're talking about music, the flow you gave to it seems to match the words.

[whitejade13]

this is wonderful!!! I love it!!!! 5/5

[Faerie]

O.O
Rly descriptive and well written!
I love it

[bindyblueeyes]

wow

this is really good


so far i like this one best