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Worste phrase someone has ever told me:
"I'm very sorry to have to tell you this, but yesterday morning Charley was found dead. He overdosed on drugs."

Basicly two years ago the greasest friend i've ever known suicided. His name was Charles. Young 17 year old(almost going to be 18 ) that lived his life early. had run far away from his "home" when he was 13, and from that age to his death he was alone. he meet a girl the fell in love and then suddenly they were expectign a child. both were extreamly happy. she died, so did the babby in her womb... he broke and lost every desire to live there...he wished death, he tried death, and he is nwo dead...*looks at feet* i still miss him, and still havn't been able to get out of the depression of loosing him. emo

he and i always faught. this was kidn of our last conversation:
Me: Please dont' kill yourself. please don't. Let me help you the best i can, please.
Charlie:You want to help? Kill me! leave me alone if you won't.
Me: i wont' do that, you know i won't. sorry
Charlie:I'm sick of your sorries, you can't do anything you're only a kid. That's human being for you. average pathetic human, as how you're acting now. you can't do s**t leave me alone...
Me: Stop being so mean and negative and realize that there can be hope you can't just give in because of other stupid people! you're the one always telling me not to listen to their stupidity and not let my self brake so easily so often. And they ar ejust people adn the only ones we should worry for and care for and lve for are the ones that love us, even if its just one that the rest are just insignificant people. why can't you take your own advice and use it.

Me: please dont' kill yourself. i need you...you're my only friend...dont' want to lose you
Charlie: I won't be able to talk to you anymore. I really love you kiddo, and thank you for everything. Dont' do the same s**t i did, rememeber everything i told you. be good. bye...

He helped me through the worst and was there no matter what other things he had to do much less how important they where... i still cry every night...still feel the pain that kills me slowly each morning...that desire to end my own life...to give up the same way he did...

since then i've been considered suicide hotline. I did my best to be there for my friends no matter what i had to do. i tried to help others the way he helped me...for some people its a daily thing, others ocational...and some it varies. at times nothing at all.