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On loving the guy i love. Dont' get me wrong he's so freakin awsome!...but the thought that it won't be responded is starting to get to me....(thanks to a wonderful phsycologist and SOME beautiful friends of mine, and mother, father)...-hopefully you aren't blind enough not to know its sarcasim on what's in the ()'s-...
I dont' want to hear "I thought you wouldnt' care what everyone else said." or any crap like that i'm not in a mood understoond!? (lizy you know how i can get...)
He is so awsome, but in honesty high doubts that i'll be able to handle another "heart-brake"(as one would say) or some other s**t similar. yet friends and i know it'll be basicly un-avoidable.... For the love of god why did i have to fall in love? above all with some one diffrent, and that won't respond?! Me in general point dont' mind it all, and will wait forever for him and all but the part of me that felt and gone through a hell load of pain doesnt' want to deal with this anymore. doesn't want to get hurt again...

So much for "All men are the same basterds, i swear by the most sacred thing to me i wont ever in my life fall in love again".... he proved me wrong...and i love him oh so much for that....just that little side of me....
....i really dont want to give up on him....i really want to go with the flow (like i usually do)...