So while i was in the shower i was thinking(i shower with clothing on mind you...) heres what i was thinking...
Jamal...I love him so much, and would do want i can for him but beign here makes me feel so useless for him...which i am, useless for him. It seems only thing i'm good at is to make him feel bad and get mad....and i dont' want him to feel that way. yesterday he asked if i was ashaimned, no i'm not ashaimned. for goodness i love him more then what he'll ever know. I would love to be with him as his girl, his love and everything. Never have i thought about living with him, because i never thought he'd want me to and because i'd be dead scared to live with him. We all have personal habbits...and i dont' know what he'll think of mine. He called him self relpulisve....and i got mad because i dont' think he's repulsive. He's so ******** attractive!(okay it felt real good finaly saying that... mrgreen ) i have one picture of him that i like looking at... also...in his own little way he called me a liar...i'm not a liar i'll only lie to him if it was to give him a surprise(a good one not bad) or if i was waiting for the perfect moment to tell him(if it was real good news or something) ...he made some points...but i hope he knows i'm not lieing(about what he thinks i lied abaout) and i didn't mean to insult, hurt, betray him or nada....NEVER would i do something to hurt him....i want him happy. I dont' want to be his enemy....i want to be his friend/lover...but as usual i'm a cluts and can't seem to do a thing right....it makes me feel really guilty...
also it seems if i have roomates it might also be like an obsticle for me to be with him...which means as of now i'd have to tell them i'm sorry but i won't live with them...and as for the one wanting to have a baby, hun if you're reading please don't get preg again, you saw what happened last time....i love you but i say stay with your real momma cause i know she loves you with all her heart and i know you love her much too.
if he reads this i want him to know that i wantt o talk with him...cause aparently we are both a "mystery" to one another...maybe we shuold get to know one another better as of now...>.> that way in further future we wont' be fighting so much...
i guess that's all i wanted to say....
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Disoriented
just stuff...bunch of stupidity...and none important stuff
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Broken Memories In Me
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