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Disoriented
just stuff...bunch of stupidity...and none important stuff
This is in english...
Okay so its just basicly a few thoughts of mine. My mind isn't in a working mood for spanish...
Thought one:
Today as my mom drove me to this place(not saying where) she keeped on looking at me in the car i started gettign creaped out and ask her what is going on. She shakes her head then looks at me again. over and over. (at this point my heart beat fast cause i thought something happened)... The out of no where she asks: "are you going out with GR again? do you still love him? would you go out with him again? I remember that you two were very, very close. How do you feel of him? would you ever consider a chance with him?" I looked at her completly shocked and partly insulted. Where did this come from? its been two ******** years sincei got out of a relationship with that basterd and not once has she questioned till now. did she really think i'm that much of an idiot to even consider goign back otu with him, or like him or close?! I honestly consider him the WORST mistake of my life. My responce to her questions was: "******** no, I hate his guts, never in my life do i want anything with him! i'm insulted and dont dare talk to me for a good while!" for the rest of the car drive i just sat there quiet, and when we got to the place as i got off the car she tells me "have fun, behave." i just gave her a "chearfull" smile and slamned the door....I can't believe she had the guts to even bring up his name!
Though two:
School...oh my goodness.... What is it goign to be this year? My hair being to "explicet" or my appearal "callin too much attention" or just me bein "distracting" to other students. Obveasly I'm not going to be having "decent" report cards... haven't really had one since 5th grade....(thats when i let my self brake >.< wink hmm so lets see how i'm going to survive this school year...I sooooooooo failed....(yea i have no confidence on me passing the school year this time....)
Thought three:
I feel liek someone is touchign me right now...though my brothers are the closest things to me adn they are abotu 5ft away.. crying my paranoia is kicking in... i keep slappign my arms, legs, face, >.< you get the point cause i feel some one touched me....If i'm paranoid, it means i'm anxious, which mean i'm feelin bad vibes(screw you people that dont' believe in that), which means i'm going to be very scared tonight.... no fair i hate feelin liek this (usually happens when i feel soemthign wrong with one of my close loves isn't so good, but this much paranoia and anxiety can't be for one person alone it has to be like 2-3 people... oh my and i can't use the phone to be calling to see who...(though i think i know who one is already....)
Gah if you people dont' understand what i mean then you probably don't believe in all this (cherry you know what i'm talking about, please help calm me crying )
Thought four:
gonk I want to lose atleast 15lbs before i go back to school... >.< And that is one month from now... I exercise time to time and its a good work out each time(trust me on that) and no i don't lose the weight. My body is still the same bleh as it was when summer started...T-T i'm not too happy with my body...i mean i can accept it and all but i'm not satisfied. when i went to the doctor and they checked my wieght with my hieght it soo didn't fit...they told me i really needed to lose the wieght...>.< If what i've done so far hasn't worked then honestly i lose hope on losing the weight... i see videos of dance routines on yuotube...god i wish i had the body of those dancers...they can move with soooo much facility...i'll never be able to dance like that with this body...



sorry people i'm sorta frustrated (don't ask the main click of it)... honestamente me mato si la vida no cambia por el mejor....





 
 
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