January 2, 2010
9:33 pm

New Year Resolutions
1. Keep Diary
2. Read more
3 Try new foods
4. Become physically and mentally healthy

Jon and I arrived at his place, suited up, and headed out. This was my first real Ski doo ride I've ever really got to experience. You would think after living in Canada all this time I would've done it sooner.
We took it slow through the village until we hit the trail to "Little Lake'. Took a left, then a right until we hit the field that would lead up to 'West Beach'.
Jon drove. Jon always drove. It was better if he did.
He accelerated on the road. I tilted my head back and gazed at the gray sky. I felt my body pull into the seat. I let go of the handles and let my arms float behind me.
What an amazing feeling. It felt like some kind of high or a trip. I closed my eyes and listened to the humming of the engine. Life faded away for a moment. I felt my body moving with the machine and my head bobbing along.

Onward we went.

We drove past 'West Beach'. The water looked chilling and the sky above it looked like it was threatening us with more snow. We pressed on, heading for the North end of the island to Big Sand Bay, one of my favorite beaches.
During our journey there, Jon let me drive. I didn't want to at first, but he assured me that nothing bad would happen. I didn't drive very fast at first. 20 km/h until my nerves calmed, then I did about 60. I drove on a straight road so the possibility of me crashing into anything was at a low.

I slowed to a halt, letting Jon take over. We turned the bend to Big Sand when I noticed Jon pointing at something in the woods nearby. It was a fisher running away from the road with his meal. A small rabbit perhaps. It's black fur stood out against the white untouched snow. We bailed on the Ski doo and ran after the creature in an attempt to catch it, but it was much to quick for us. Running through the snow was tiring. But lucky we had the Ski doo.

We pressed on.

As the beach grew closer, it grew colder. We passed a cottager and his children. A daughter and son. Their hair looked frosted, so did the man's mustache. We waved as we passed, and the daughter's mouth moved with words I couldn't make out.
The shield on my helmet grew frosty and it was becoming more difficult to make out the scenery.
The beach was cold and the water was angry. It threw itself onto the frozen sand and slithered back. Even when the beach is gray, it was still beautiful. However I didn't move from the comfort of the Ski doo. Instead we turned around and headed back towards the village, only this time we avoided all the main roads and stuck to the trails.

I cold feel the cold creeping through the layers I covered myself in. My shield became so frosty, it was hard to see anything. I had to really concentrate on whatever it was I was looking at. I could barely even make out the word 'BOMBARIDER' on the back of Jon's helmet.

Mathew once told me that with his glasses, the world looks faded. He told me that the night we sat on my roof and gazed at the stars. That is what is was like for me with all the frost... faded.

It was getting dark out but the forest never looked so gorgeous. The trees were covered in white powder. Only their trunks and the underbellies of their branches stood out. The lights of the Ski doo lit our path as we glided through the woods. My feet were getting cold and my toes were numb but thankfully, we headed home.

We arrived at Jon's and covered the Ski doo before we headed inside to the warmth and comfort of four walls. We removed our gear and sat in front of the fire place. my feet nearly pressed against the glass. They couldn't warm fast enough.
Jon said his face was numb. No wonder. How he was able to drive around the island with the shield of his helmet up was beyond me.

His sister Kylee was home to greet us and we all sat around the fire and played with Peanut, Kylee's gerbil. I trimmed Peanut's nails. The length of them was unnatural.

Three days ago I hung out with Mat. I missed him. Its been two months since we've seen each other last. Around him I feel so comfortable. So natural.
We sat in his basement getting high like we used to. Showing each other cool new bands and albums like we used to. And conversing about life... like we used to.

We kissed

I have never been so nervous and excited in my life. My heart was screaming. But even still, it had never felt so natural. Just like it used to be.

We slept together... twice.
We were interrupted by his folks coming home though. To bad. It was felt really great.

I went to his band practice with him. I still never got to meet his new volcalist Dewie. He couldn't make it out that night. However they still rocked the night regardless.

Mat and his father Phil drove me to the dock to catch the boat that night. I like Phil. He's a really great guy. And an even better father to his kids.
I was early for the boat though, so I had to wait. There was a small cabin where I could keep warm. Mathew walked me to the cabin where I would wait.

We kissed. He left. I stood thinking...

What a shame we couldn't commit.