January 5, 2010
9:15 pm

My mother was brought to the hospital three days ago. She was having chest pains. The funny thing is, she was fine up until Archie got home. I can stand that guy. He leaves us for days on end while he stumbles around the island getting drunk.
What if I wasn't home? What if she couldn't reach the phone in time? She could have died and no one would know.
God I hate Archie. I just want to constantly punch him in the face.
He's so lazy, selfish and good for nothing.
We brought her to the hospital. Actually an ambulance brought her into town. I just knew the paramedics on call. It's a small community. Everyone knows everyone.
Angie is one of the few female paramedics that work here on the island. She has short blonde hair and four earring in each ear. I can't remember the name of her partner. He's really funny though with some sort of skin condition that leave his face red and flaky. Good guy though. Funny guy.
Angie stayed in the back to keep and eye on Mom while I rode shotgun with Angie partner. He said on of the best things about being a paramedic is being able to drive on the wrong side of the road.
"It's a really great job. Good pay. Great hours. You should look into it. I would do it if I were you." I think his opinion about becoming a paramedic is a bit bias.

We arrived at the hospital and one of the first people I saw was Dr. Mac. I miss him as our family doctor. I really admired him. He asked me why I was in emerg. I told him mom was having chest pains but I didn't really worry any more. I knew Mac would take good care of her. He always did.

She was admitted however, we weren't allowed to visit her. There was some sort of outbreak in the hospital and they were having a hard time containing it.

The next day, I took the car into town to drop off some stuff at the hospital that mom had asked for.
Then I thought.. seeing as how I'm in town, I might as well see if Mathew want to hang out.. Maybe he wants to spend the night too..

He did.

He was in the shower when I went to pick him up.. Then he asked if I wanted to join him... What a tease.
We slept together before we left.

Once we got to my place we bought some dope, ate some cheese balls and watched a movie. I enjoyed the movie. Mat had already seen it. We got high while the movie played. It only seemed appropriate. We watched the 'Trailer Park Boys Countdown to Liquor Day.' After the movie we chilled for a bit, listened to music, talked, chatted, discussed, conversed. It was good to spend time with him. I missed him. Even if we're not together, we will always be in each others life.

Some ground rule must be made.
NO good night kisses
NO holding hands
NO cuddling or sleeping beside each other
NO definitely NO saying I love you... even if we do love each other..
These things will only confuse us further.
I know they're all ready ******** but still... We can't commit to each other right now. Things would only feel right if we lived with each other again.

The sad thing is..

I don't think that will happen for a while