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when we get older.. as bad as it sounds, i want her to go first..

Me.. I'll be able to handle it.. but I don't want her to have to go through the loss.. I'm sure she's capable of handling it.. but I don't want her to be left alone without me.. so I'd rather that when the time comes, it's her first, then me after..

very, very soon after..and not until we're both very old.. late 100's... .___. (I know she doesn't want to live that long.. but meh.. I'm being optimistic.)

I don't want it to happen when we're young.. I'd be crushed... I'd just.. crumble.. but I would be able to pick up the pieces... however shaky I'd be after.. I'd still have neena though..

she doesn't need that kind of stress, that kind of trauma.. I don't want her to deal with it, I don't want her to have to suffer through it.. I've already suffered through it once, I can do it again.. but I don't want her to know the pain..