I think I might need a schedule to know what to first talk about when I start writing in this thing...o.o;;; like talk about morning or the night before and what not...>O
Okay, first off,
last night as I was finishing writing my last entry I was getting sad because I was writing all the depressing and more and more I felt alone in all this?
I wanted to call Brandon and tell him goodnight or it wouldn't feel right..
but it just made me cry towards the end anyways. ._.;
so I called Brandon and he's asking me about school and stuff...and I'm sniffing a little and tearing up all the more
and then I start crying to him, about how I felt pressured at home
and how I felt so alone and by myself at school
I had to let him go though and I didn't wanna make him feel really bad v.v
Like I already had. ;o ;'''
It took me until 11 to stop crying and fall asleep,
I even slept with my old beanie rabbit Rabbie last night and my plushie Kurama .__.
I felt lonely. .o .;;;
In the morning I was soooo tired,
it took me about 5 minutes to get out of bed
in the shower I was dreading having to go and work today...-.-
I ate a nice breakfast of home fries and ranch and it held me pretty good until 2 period like always... e__e;
I was driven to school this morning and then dropped off
walking in I was just enjoying the time I had in the hallway walking before reaching class
I kinda got lost a few times but quickly corrected myself
I was kinda wrong about Ms. diggs not caring about that paper we wrote the first day
She said she wanted it that morning but we never were able to give it to her. .o .
and so pretty soon after getting in we start taking notes and shizz on genres and stuff she has up at the screen thingy...holo whatever...
projector! Thats what it is! xD
and then shortly after we packed up to get to class and that morning for a warm up we wrote another paper but never got to give it to her either
and before she gave us locker numbers and stuff that I wrote down in my schedule.
We get text books tomorrow and I still don't have my mesh book bag Brandon was suppose to get for me today..but his check got all screwed up and stuff...
but I have kind of a small bag and I carry my binder anyways.
I didn't feel so out of place anymore,
I knew where I was suppose to be and it was at that school.
Mom got my bus number and everything today too...
Next class I got to was math, went in and put my things in my chair then headed out to gym with everyone else.
Oh god was gym just the worst part of my day ever today! T___T
We got in and sat in our lines and s**t or rows, whatever and listened to a little reminder of yesterday and then the coaches ask us to get in lines to pay for lockers and uniforms
then we, the girls left sitting on the floor began to move about on our own which I didn't think we'd be able to do.
I had left my money and checks in my homeroom.
I had sat down long enough on that hard floor, I wore skater shorts, my stinted whatever belt, converse, and my good rose checkered shirt with all kinds of black splashy things on it ou o and my bracelet <3 and I felt more comfortable today in gym. We won't start wearing uniforms until Monday. P:
I stood up and I swear, we were in gym two hours! D<
and I began looking around and down at my toes and was scared to move around or anything. So I try going and talking to this redheaded girl that looked lonely but was just really bored and so I left her alone on my own will and told her it was nice meeting her,
I saw the girl I had asked earlier today who's name is Hayley,
if she'd let me share a locker with her and her friend,
well she said she'd ask her friend about it because she wanted to share with someone else.
I went up to her and ask if I could share a locker with her and her friend,
the girl they'd picked or wanted to share a locker with was right there and she was talking to her, she was the white chick in my last class yesterday that I thought was kind of alone too...I was wrong..atleast everyone had A friend by the second day of school... v.v all the girls talked to everyone else but me.... :/
and so Hayley goes, "I'm sorry, my friend wanted to share with -insert that chick's name here-" I go "Oh..." trying not to sound so disappointed. I just wanted to share a locker with them because they seemed nice...we had all classes together...maybe we'd become friends... v.v and it'd give them an excuse to actually talk to me sometimes...I saw them talking about it when we first got in gym and the coach was talking alittle about yesterday,
Hayley's friend didn't seem like she wanted to share a locker with me.
so anyways, the girl Hayley is talking to goes "Oh! I feel so bad now! D:>" and I told her it was alright and just kinda walked away and sat back down.
The girls in line for the lockers were cheer leading and acting stupid, but it was funny and I kinda laughed watching them.
Okay to understand this,
I'll have to explain all the black girls just kinda moved over to the otherside of the room and started talking and they talked to the white girls and cheered with them and s**t. =.o;;;
but then once they were all sitting around eachother and HOLY FU'CK all of a sudden they get up and run across the room in opposite directions like a cattle of terrified bull or sheep. And why? BECAUSE OF A FU'CKIN GRAND DADDY LONG LEGS.
One of the white girls stepped in and stomped it like it was nothing,
they scared me so bad I even got up from where I was.
They were screaming and making a big deal out of a tiny spider, not even I'm that scared of a spider. =.o;;;
So soon after the line for lockers moves up, I go and sit against a wall
and after awhile some girls asked me if I were okay but as soon as the word Im okay popped out of my mouth they left me alone... v.v;;;
my homeroom teacher walked in and said, "Cheyenne," i thought she was going to ask me what was wrong..I was in really high hopes for that
but instead she gave me the checks I left in the room
I was in the last to get a locker or uniform due to how long I got my money for it
I went up, the only one to the coach at her little small desk and said I'd buy any small locker that was not taken and she said she couldn't take the check unless I found someone to share with..I felt rejected...I knew all the girls had people to share with already and I was just thinking.."What am I gonna do?"
so, as I turn I think she felt bad for me, she stopped me and said, "Want me to help you find a partner?" So she whistles in that damned whistle of hers which just bursted my ears! D< and asked anyone who didn't have a partner to come up front to her desk, I kinda stepped away,
I bet some of the girls didn't want to share a locker with me
or they already had partners
I just felt so bad. I began tearing up as she called me back over and told me I could have a locker on my own for the time being.
Going and buying my uniform from the other coach was hard,
Samantha who'd I forgot to ask if she liked anime or even talk to or her friend was there with her group of friends she was sharing a locker with
I felt so sorry for myself, and I was just begging for someone to come and talk to me and ask what was wrong and talk to me more than five seconds...
I just kept thinking, "Sam...please..turn around...talk to me..."
I got a size too big and will have to return it tomorrow...
v.v....but yeah...it was just crummy...
Math class was easy,
we had a easy sheet today
and all the black kids kept talking back and forth and just kinda annoyed me.
Geo was next,
the teacher went easier today
yesterday she was just tired most likely,
but she made us takes note and still got to serious business.
Science life was so easy,
Mr. Harrel (Long term sub) gave us an easy, like 4th grade sheet to do
and I was the first done
everyone acted like it was so hard.
He was funny today when he got onto some of them, and was like
"I know how to count, son!" and he's holding up three fingers when he should have been holding up 4 and he goes, "One, two four!" he's so deaf too, one kid called him a b***h and he didn't even hear it.
He wanted us to do something else,
but everyone cried they had to use the restroom
so he took us
and in the hallway I saw Diana's sister, who I didn't know was her sister until she said something xD
she asked me if we could be friends, start new, and forget the past even though I hadn't really even talked to her in 4th grade...o.o;;
Felt good after that and better when I was able to go home..
On the bus,
we had to go to 4 different schools to pick up students young and old alike and the heat killed me
a black girl sat next to me and I befriended her very well
and the boy infront of me
though I won't be riding the bus much anymore because mom thought I'd be home at 3 this afternoon when actually I came home at 4 and stuff so...and she understood it was hot and miserable...seems like you make friends with everyone outside of your classes...sucks.
I'm probably forgetting things,
but oh well, like how I forgot to say my back killed me yesterday
but mom and Brandon pick me up tomorrow and hopefully for the rest of the week and Brandon will spend the weekend with me and stuff most likely
feels like it should be the weekend already Dx
so tired of typing
Ima go to bed now...
night... .o .
********. D< IDONTWANNAGO. ;O ;
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