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Hatred is a strong emotion. If you dwell upon hatred too long it can start to consume you. For a long time I've been dwelling on my hatred for certain individuals. I've dwelled upon my hatred to the point of being willing to end their lives. Fortunately I have not committed and ended any lives. Still my hatred festers inside me. I try to let apathy take over. I can't just forgive and move on so apathy is the next best thing.

If I did give in to my hate and kill then I would most certainly kill myself. Murder is crossing a line that you can't come back across. If I kill once I'm not so certain I wouldn't kill again and keep killing. This sounds pretty stupid but these are the thoughts occupying my mind.