Author: ...
Lenalee: ho lord...
Allen: here we go...
Lavi: OMGBBQ?!!
kanda: and just when I thought I would get some peace and quiet for the rest of my life... che.
Allen: please tell me i'm not about to be tortured again...
Lavi: *pounces* AUTHOR-BABY!! I was soooooo lonely! Give your lavi-kins some suga-*is palmed in the face*
Author: save it for later lavi-kins! i've got some explaining to do!
Allen: seriously! where have you been!? do you even remember the script!?
Author: haha... script?
Kanda: I KNEW IT! everything you say is B.S! I'm out of here. I've had enough of this baka-author and her stupid antics...
Author: oh no you don't! *grabs Alteara* quick! co-author!
Alteara: Co-Author!? whut-huh?! where am I? How did I get here?!
Author: Save the quandaries for half-time Pooh! Make your best puppy face!
Allen: Oh no... Shield your eyes!
Lenalee: *ducks for cover*
Lavi: *puts on sunglasses*
Kanda: che. You think i'm pathetic enough to fall for some-
Alteara: *puppy face*
Kanda: ... must... obey... wishes...
Author: oh-hai, it worked!
Lavi: how cool! it's like yuu-chan's hypnotized!
:Kanda: Will... obey... puppy-face...
Lenalee: hey! lets mess with his hair while he's like this!
Allen: I have a much better idea.... *pulls out a permanent marker*
Lavi: Woah... be careful with that thing Allen-chan... it's totally permanent...
Allen: yes oh mighty bookman... i'm well aware... *eye-roll*
Lenalee: was that sarcasm Allen-kun?
Allen: uh... no?
Lenalee: reeeeeally?
Allen: ... maybe a little...
Alteara: face... cramping...
Author: Ah! we forgot about Alteara!
Lenalee: Okay Alteara-chan... you can stop making the face.
Allen: Aww... *puts away marker*
Lavi: And we never got to do anything fun with Yuu-chan...
Author: uh... Alteara?
Alteara: um... I think my face is stuck...
Lavi: you mean...
Lenalee: like... stuck-stuck?
Alteara: um... is there another kind of stuck?
Author: *dies laughing*
Alteara: It's not funny Luna!
Author: hahahaha-must... obey... puppy face...
Lavi: Oh no! My sweety looked directly at the puppy face!
Allen: You mean we're stuck without an author?
Lenalee: so... what do we do now?
Lavi: Well... technically... we still have the co-author...
Group: *turns to Alteara*
Alteara: what? why is everyone staring at me...? wait...
Lavi: will... obey...
Lenalee: Must... please... puppy... face...
Allen: Bakanda... is... an idiot...
Kanda: will... kill... moyashi....
Alteara: well that's not very nice.
Kanda: must... apologize... to... puppy face...
Allen: must apologize... more than... Bakanda...
Alteara: oh geeze...
Lavi: Must.... love.... author-chan.... *zombie glomps author*
Author: Must... start... show... *zombie shoves Lavi to the ground*
Alteara: why is everyone moving in slow motion?
Author: braaaaaaain-*cough*- i mean... Obeeeeeeeyyy....
Alteara: Hey I thought this was the Easter update! not the halloween one!
Author: Oh yeah. Okay, cut the zombie act!
Kanda: Thank god!
Allen: Man, my back was getting stiff! how do zombies walk like that?
Kanda: Maybe because they're dead, moron.
Lenalee: Ooooh, moron's a new one...
Lavi: Yuu-chan's been studying abroad. You know... what with him having all that free time...
Kanda: Usagi... I swear... if you say it...
Lavi: you know...
Kanda: I will shove mugen SO far up your-
Lavi: What with him being DEAD and all, and totally written out of the manga-
Kanda: I WILL END YOU RIGHT NOW! LOOK. I'M DOING IT RIGHT NOW. THIS IS YOU. ENDING.
Lavi: *dying*
lenalee: well look at that. it actually worked. I always thought that one day Kanda would kill some one with sheer will alone...
Allen: uh... that was... really scary. I need to.. um... change pants.
Author: Kanda! you un-end lavi-kins RIGHT NOW.
Kanda: Um, how about no-
Author: *Holds up Alteara with puppy face*
Kanda: Fine.
Lavi: *Not dying* Yay!
Lenalee: Alright author-chan! enough of your tom-foolery!
Kanda: Tom-whatery?
Allen: is that even a word?
Lavi: of course! it's on page 3,789, 560 of the big book of world deffinitional words authored by one, Augistina Celestine-
Author: oh god. Who started this?
Lavi: ...an English phrase from the legend of Tom Hawkins who was world renound as a prankster and traveled around England in the 16oo's-
Kanda :Somebody make him shut-up!
Allen: I would if I could! you know there's no stopping him when he gets like this!
Lavi...and traveled through ancient Rome as the phrase Thomaticus Foolarians, it was then re-introduced into modern society in the 1800's through a trade route traveling from the byzantine empire all the way to the Tigris rivers of China and-
Author: Oh lavi-kins... guess who's not wearing any underweaaaar?
Lavi: WHAT?! my sweety is going comando today?! heart
Author: Haha, nope. I was talking about Krowley.
Krowley: hey! I am so-
Author: OOPS! sorry, you just used up all of your screen time for this year! Kthanxbai!
Krowley: de aru~
Lenalee: Author-chan! I told you to wrap it up like... AGES AGO!
Author: Oh. Right. So... I guess we can just start then?
Kanda: My joy is like a thousand white hot knives, being thrust into my eyeballs.
Lenalee: Oooh, that means Kanda's happy!
Kanda: ... sure. Why not.
Allen: Bakanda, you need to lighten up a bit. You're going to attract Emu's if you keep that up!
Kanda: ... what?
Lavi: I'm with yuu-chan on this one... i'e never heard of a person in a bad mood attracting emus.
Lenalee: And if Lavi's never heard of it...
Allen: You know! those people who wear all black! and have the piercings! and are like "my life is so abysmal..."
Author: Um, can anyone say, Best impression by Allen ever?!
Alteara: *laughs*
Kanda: Just when I thought your moyashi brain couldn't get any dumber...
Lenalee: Oh Allen-kun...
Lavi: Haha, did you mean Emos Moyashi-chan?
Allen: Emos- emus, same thing.
Author: *dies laughing*
Lenalee: Ugh! Okay, Author-chan really! start the show!
Author: Alright, alright! But someone has to do a disclaimer first!
Alteara: Oh! me! Author-chan doesn't own d. Gray-Man! So please don't sue okay? *puppy-face*
kanda: Oh no...
Lavi: Everyone-hide!
Lenalee: But where do we go!?
Author: How about your places!?
A D.Grey Easter
The air in the order almost seemed alive. It buzzed with a quiet energy, which left the exorcists to ask themselves...
"Is that a baby chicken?" Lavi stared at komoui as if he had grown a second head. And technically, it was true. Accept the other head was on top of his berret. And was very tiny. And covered in gold feathers. And well, lets just say there was a chick on top of Komoui's head. Komoui was standing at the front of a crowded caffeteria, about to make another "announcement".
"oh no..." luna groaned, holding her face in her palm.
"Can we eat it?" Allen stared hungerly.
"I knew it was a bad idea for Nii-san to hold this meeting before breakfast..." Lenalee sighed.
"The 'Bad Idea' was coming to this meeting at all." Kanda snapped, obviously irritated at the interruption to his routine.
"Oh, it can't be THAT bad!" Alteara smiled at the grouchy Samurai, who turned a soft pink and suddenly thought the other side of the room was very interesting.
"Do you NOT remember the 'manilla envelope' disaster?" Luna sighed.
"Yeah, that was fun!" Alteara grinned back. "We got to go out on the town!"
"Yeah, and were almost killed by akuma." Allen grumbled.
"Don't forget that CRAZY waiter." Lenalee mumbled.
"And then there were the Noah." Lavi chimed in.
"Not to mention the 34 finders that we never found after they back-talked komoui about his question..." Luna added.
"And then there's the other ten finders who's envelopes were actually diverstions and ATE THEM!" Miranda cried from behind.
"What the heck?!" Kanda growled. "Who told you THAT load of crap? And WHO gave you permission to speak!?"
"I'M SORRY!" the ghostly girl cried before running off into the crowd.
"Be nice!" Lenalee snapped, wacking Kanda on the back of the head. The samurai developed a distinct tick in his eyebrow, but only crossed his arms with a growl.
"Wow, that sure was brave Lena-lady." Lavi stared.
"Not really." Lenalee giggled, twirling Kanda's ponytail around her pointer finger. "I mean, the dude doesn't hit girls so... I'm safe." She grinned.
"Or maybe he just has a respectably healthy fear of her big brother, like the rest of us..." Allen whimpered. The group looked over to find Komoui standing right next to them, gripping his berret in his hands and tugging on it with his teeth.
"Your HAIR is TOUCHING my PRECIOUS LENALEEEEEE" he half whined-half growled, ripping his hat. Kanda quailed a bit at the sight, but shakily kept up his non-caring attitude.
"Che."
"How elequent." Lenalee giggled.
"You know..." Alteara mumbled, "If he doesn't like it... maybe you shouldn't do it..."
The group turned and stared at the girl, who blushed under the attention.
"ooooh, sorry Alte-chan!" Lenalee laughed. "I'll stop messing with your man!"
"He's not-"
"I'm not-"
Alteara and Kanda blurted at the same time, but stopped with a blush.
"Deniiiiiiial!" Lavi sang besides them.
"Are you done FLIRTING with my sister?!" komoui growled.
"That man has issues." Luna mumbled as Komoui stomped back up to the front of the room, and cleared his throat.
Komoui turned to the crowd, the tiny chick on his head peeping in delight.
"As you all know... today is Easter!"
The crowd paused.
"It's Easter?" On finder called out.
"No way! Easter's in April!"
"But it IS April!"
"I thought it was March!"
"I don't know where I am anymore!"
"Note to self." Komoui mumbled to Reevers, who was slightly confused because he was pretty sure Komoui was talking to himself. "Buy calendars for the finders." He paused. "And get that one finder some help." He turned back to the crowd.
"As I was saying... today is Easter! Which means the Black Order is on Holiday!"
The crowd burst into cheers, some finders throwing their cloaks into the air.
"BUT!" Komoui thrust a finger into the air. The chick on his hat mimicked his actions.
"That's one smart chick." lavi mumbled. Luna giggled.
"If you want to receive your vacation... you must first find an egg!"
"Well that's stupid." Kanda growled. "we're in the freaking cafeteria. Just ask Jerry for one." He rolled his eyes.
"Aww, poor Bakanda." Allen simpered, "His lack of worldly interaction has once again led him to be socially stunted."
"Geeze you guys are throwing around big words today." Lenalee grumbled. Luna and Alteara laughed.
"I've been tutoring them." Lavi grinned.
"Well knock it off." Lenalee shot back.
"You have a death wish moyashi?" Kanda growled at the white haired boy.
"Plastic eggs Kanda. Plastic. No one hunts actual eggs on Easter. Then if you don't find them, they go bad!"
"Well then you'd find them from the smell Baka-moyashi. Duh."
"No one WANTS to smell that Bakanda!"
"These are the eggs you will be looking for!" Komoui announced over the arguing. He held up a shiny silver egg that glinted in the cafeteria's florescent lighting.
"That... doesn't look like plastic." Alteara mumbled. The group watched in horror as the egg produced six tiny silver spider-like feet, clawing it's way down Komoui's arm and up onto his head, where the chick squawked in surprise.
"These eggs were designed by the science department to avoid being captured at all costs! They are also artifically intelligent! The longer it takes you to catch them, the smarter they will become, and therefore will be more difficult to catch!"
"You've got to be kidding me." Luna sighed. "Doesn't the science department have, like, paperwork or something they could be doing!?"
Komoui ignored her.
"Each person will receive an egg that is personalized for you! That is the egg that you must find! If you catch someone else's egg, it doesn't count! So tough nuggets!"
Members of the science department walked down the rows of the cafeteria benches, carrying boxes filled with the tiny eggs. Each person took a turn picking one from the box.
"This... is probably going to end badly." Lavi grimaced as he held the mechanical egg at arms length.
"Che." Kanda glared at his egg.
"Uh... guys?"
The group turned to Alteara, who was staring at her egg. It had turned a pure white with a golden lace pattern on the shell.
"What happened to your egg?" Allen stared.
"Speak for yourself." Alteara replied. The group turned to see Allen's egg had turned a grey color, with a black crack like line down the center.
"That's odd." the white haired boy lifted his egg to examine it, only to jerk back when six mechanical legs sprung outward and wiggled in the air. He dropped the egg in his surprise, and the tiny mecha dashed off into the crowd. Around the cafeteria, the group could hear others having the same reaction.
"Well, lets get this over with." Kanda growled as his own egg, which was purple bleeding into white at the tips, rushed out of the room.
"Luna, you have to let it go!" Alteara laughed at her friend who was still grasping her egg, which had turned black with little gold stars on it. It's tiny legs were clawing at the air.
"But if I don't let it go, I won't have to go find i-hey!" The girl was interrupted when Lenalee plucked the egg from her grasp and threw it into the crowd.
"Now you have to play like the rest of us!" Lenalee laughed. The group stared as an egg, which was green with a faint flower pattern, crawled up the girls leg, around her torso, and clasped onto her face. Lenalee twitched in irritation.
"Nii-san..." she growled.
"ooooh! As expected of my darling Lenalee!" Komoui called "You already found your egg!"
The long haired girl sighed. "Fix it Nii-san."
"But Lenalee-!"
The girl rolled her eyes, before clasping her hands in front of her and making her best pouty face.
"Please Nii-san? I want to play like everyone else!"
"OF COURSE MY DARLING!" komoui cried, snatching the egg away and whipping out a screw driver.
"Where on earth was he hiding that..." lavi stared as he set his own egg (a vibrant red with a curly hair on top) free.
A few twirks of the screw-driver later, and Lenalee's egg was dashing off with the rest.
"Alright everyone!" Komoui announced, as the cafeteria settled down. "It's time to start the hunt!"
Some of the finders dashed out of the room, eager to catch their prey, while others simply sat back for a bit, talking with their friends about the ridiculousness of the science department.
"Well, I guess we should get started." Allen stood from his spot, wiping invisible dust from his black pants.
"But where do we start?" Alteara quircked her head, blond hair bouncing a bit.
"Che."
The group stared as Kanda stood from his place at the bench, and started walking toward the exit.
"I guess we follow Yuu-chan." Lavi shrugged, before he and the rest of the gang followed the stoic samurai out the door.
***
Out in the corridor, Kanda immediately stalked off down a dark hallway, and vanished from sight. The others stopped just outside of the door.
"Where is he going?" Luna stared, quirking her head.
"Knowing Yuu-chan, probably to get some training done or something." Lavi shrugged. "He didn't seem that into the whole egg thing anyway."
"But..." Alteara peered down the hall just in time to see Kanda's coat flip around another corner.
"Just leave old grumpy pants." Lenalee waved her hands down the hall. "Lets go try to find these eggs!"
"So... Do we just look for them?" Allen sighed, running a gloved hand through his white hair. "I mean, they're Komoui's eggs... so I'm willing to bet that-"
"I FOLD." Lavi cried, suddenly going very stiff.
The group stopped as Allen stared at the red head with confusion.
"Don't mind him" Luna sighed, reaching up to Lavi's shoulders and starting to knead some of the tension out of them. "It's his automatic reaction every time Allen says 'bet'."
Lenalee and Alteara giggled, while Allen scoffed.
"I'm not that bad..." he grumbled.
"Are you kidding me Allen-kun?" Lenalee laughed, "I've seen you gamble the hair off a bald guy!"
Alteara laughed, but then paused. "Wait... how does that work?"
Luna was off to the side, trying to push Lavi into moving.
"Moyashi-chan is scary when he gambles..." lavi whimpered.
"I know, I know" Luna cooed. "Now lets get ourselves back together and find those eggs!"
"But like I was saying..." Allen interjected, "How do we find them? I severely doubt they're going to just be sitting around. Didn't Komoui say they get smarter...?"
"That is trouble..." lenalee sighed, putting a hand to her chin in thought. "Well, I guess all we can do now is just search around, and if anyone finds their egg, we can group together to try to corner it."
"That's a good idea!" Alteara piped up. "So let's go!!" The girl pumped a fist in the air and ran down one of the halls.
"Is it just me, or does she seem really excited?" Allen smiled to a nodding lenalee. The two turned and walked down the hall in the opposite direction.
Luna grinned. "Looks like it's just me and you Lavi-kins" She turned the boy by his shoulders and started guiding him down another hallway.
"Bets... soo... scary..."
"That's right, that's right... Keep an eye out for eggs, okay?"
***
Alteara slowly walked down one of the brighter corridors of the order. Several finders giggled as she stalked by, gently calling out "heeeeere eggy, eggy, eggy... "
She peeked around corner, between banisters, under loose stones, and even inside the hanging torches on the walls, but there was no sign of her little egg. Just as she was about to give up and move her search to a different hall, she saw a flash of white at the end of the corridor.
"A HA!" She laughed, rushing after the egg. "That's a dead end!"
She flew around the corner, and spotted her egg, clawing at one of the stone corners with it's metal feet, as if trying to climb away.
"Don't be scared..." the girl cooed, "I'm just going to catch you is all... Come here..."
As she got closer, the egg tried more frantically to climb away. It's legs wiggled and squirmed and suddenly Alteara froze.
"You know..." she laughed. "It's lucky you only have six legs... because if you had two more you would look suspiciously like..."
The egg froze, as if listening. It turned toward her, and sprouted two more silvery legs. Alteara's eyes widened. The egg started walking toward her.
"No... stay away!" she whimpered backing up. The egg just moved closer, and then jumped, latching itself onto her chest. The girl went pale.
"NOOOO!!!" She screamed, grabbing the egg and throwing it with all of her might away from her self. The egg hit the ground, but rebounded quickly, rushing back toward the girl who ran away screaming.
"I HATE SPIDERRRRRRRS!"
***
Allen and Lenalee stopped in their hunt.
"Did you hear someone scream?" Allen asked, looking around. Both of them turned around, looking for the source of the noise.
Behind them, Alteara dashed past the corridor screaming, the egg following closely behind.
"Ah..." lenalee laughed. "Why don't we just keep looking then."
"Agreed." Allen sighed.
The two of them traveled down several halls until they reached Allen's room. Surprisingly, instead of finding any eggs, they found...
"Kanda?" Lenalee stared quirking her head to one side. "What are you doing?"
The samurai was sitting outside of his door, eyes closed and legs and arms crossed. In front of him sat a silver can, propped up with a stick. A string was tied to the stick, and traveled across the floor, up his lap, and into the crook where one of his hands were.
"What does it look like I'm doing." Kanda snapped back.
"Uh... Playing homeless?" Allen guessed.
"Baka Moyashi." Kanda growled, "Can't you recognize a hunting trap when you see one?"
"Uh, yeah, pretty sure I can." Allen smirked. "And I'll be sure to let you know when I actually see one."
Kanda growled again, but ignored it in favor of remaining still. "Get lost." he grumbled. "You're going to scare away my prey."
Allen and Lenalee simply looked at one another, before shrugging and moving on.
"Good luck then." Lenalee called back. Kanda gave an affirmative grunt before stilling once again.
***
Luna walked down one of the dark corridors of the order, laughing as Lavi darted from wall to wall.
"Dun du, da dah, dun du nah..." Lavi muttered under his breath.
"That's not going to help us find an egg." Luna laughed, rolling her eyes.
Lavi stopped and flashed a grin at the red head. "But it WILL help me be sneaky!"
"How will alerting the enemy of our presence help you be sneaky?"
"Oh hush Babe, you're ruining my style!" Lavi pouted.
The two paused as a faint noise came from down the hall.
"Did you hear that?" Luna asked, facing the direction of the sound.
"Um... maybe..." Lavi stared.
Softly, the noise sounded again.
"Dun du, da dah, dun du nah..."
Luna quirked a brow, turning to look at the confused bookman Jr.
"It wasn't me, I swear!" lavi waved his hands in front of him. "I"m standing right here! How could I be making noise over there!" he pointed.
Luna looked at him skeptically for a moment. "I wouldn't put ventriloquy past you..." she muttered.
"Dun du, da dah, dun du nah..."
"There it is again." Lavi muttered. He started slinking his way down the hall, Luna close behind.
They reached the end of the corridor, and slowly peaked around.
"Dun du, da dah, dun du nah!"
A bright red egg with a swirly hair was darting around the corridor, apparently now able to even imitate Lavi's voice as it rushed from shadow to shadow.
"Well." Luna sighed. "If you're egg is as predictable as you are... " She stepped out into the hall. The egg froze in place.
"Oh eggy dear..." luna cooed, batting her eyelashes at the egg. She leaned over, letting her shirt hang low and held out a hand toward the egg. "Why don't you come over here for a minute." She tempted.
The egg turned into a giant heart and with a slightly mechanical "STRIKE!" it shot toward her. She caught it before it could smash into her chest, holding it at an arms length while it's tiny legs clawed toward her.
"Alright!" She laughed. "One down and -Lavi quit looking at my chest." she growled, turning toward the bookman Jr who blushed and quickly turned away.
"I wasn't- I mean- I wouldn't- That is..." he floundered.
"Here." Luna sighed, shoving the egg into his twitching hands.
Lavi blinked for a moment, before looking down at his egg.
"What do I do with it?"
...
They both peered at the egg for a moment in confusion.
"Maybe... can you open it?" Luna pondered. Lavi shrugged before trying to pry the egg apart. He twisted it and pulled and even yanked at it's legs, but they had no luck.
"Maybe it's password protected or something? I mean, it IS a machine..." lavi sighed.
"Hey." luna knocked on the egg. "Can you open?"
"Dun du, da dah, dun du nah..."
Both of them stared for a second, before sighing.
"I guess we just carry it around until we find komoui then." Luna shrugged.
"Alright then. Lets go find yours!" Lavi grinned, locking arms with luna and (being careful not to lose his grip on his egg) dragging her down the hall.
***
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Art by rnercury
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