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Lilly's Diary
personal thoughts here
******** this shitty house.
K, so.

Dad will probably go into the hospital to get an experimental surgery done, which is basically putting a rod in his leg...it's basically like a prosthetic foot, except his infection wont' go away, and he'll still hurt all the time.. and he won't be able to walk on it either, according to his doctor.

The other doctor said it'd fix everything.. but meh. He'd probably say whatever it took to get someone who could do the experiment on him. Whatever.

He's going to be in the hosp for 6 weeks, and so we'll have to take care of my brother and sister then. Sister is fine, Brother is a ******** p***k who's going to start s**t with Chloe, and they're going to fight. She already gets in his face because she can't stand his bs damn near every day. He's a ******** stupid son of a b***h, and I'm seriously contemplating killing him. It'd solve all my problems. I've been trying to be nice, but that just won't happen. :/

So I'm stressed about that.

Dad wants us to contribute our food stamps to the family's food fund, to help out.. basically he wants to use our food stamp money to buy groceries, instead of me and chloe pitching in when we can. :/ Ummmm.. sorry dad, we only ******** have $280, and that has so stretch for 2 months.. we're already down to $100, because we've been splurging and buying extra s**t. He said, "y'all can't keep buying your small meals blahblah" and I'm like, uhhhh... what, we don't want to eat all your food or your meals all the time, I'm fine with sharing what we can because you're letting uslive here, but we're going to keep eating our own small meals. You don't cook every ******** night, so we'll eat what we damn well please. :/ We're not going to give up all of our money and starve our selves. K?

I know he's stressed out, and so he's in a pissy mood. That's fine. I don't blame him.. but he basically ruined my ******** day, dropping these ******** bombs on me (mostly matt having to live here) and so, I'm thinking about moving out right now.

Going to look at low income apartments tomorrow, I think.

I'm also stressed about money. I'm going to be making around $500 this paycheck, before bills. I've already charged almost $100 on my account for chloe's gas, because of the stupid ******** texas workforce program that they make her go to every ******** day. We have over due phone bills that are damn near $150/ea, and we have overdue bills from the apartment that we didn't pay. I'm hoping she can get reimbursed for the gas she used going to and from the workforce, because it's not fair to tell her, "well show up or we'll cut your benefits," when she has no income. :/

It's a bunch of ******** bullshit and drama.

Really the only thing that's been going good for me so far, is the fact that I have a job, and it's been pretty decent so far. Everyone's been nice, I've been apparently doing my job with no hitches, and everything has been fine.

I came home happy as ********, because I did such a great job at the shell last night. It was my first night alone, after .. well, I forget how long, I think 1-2 years, and I did it all like it was nothing. I even had everything done by 3am.. it was amazing.

Seriously though, if it weren't for chloe, I'd probably just say "lol ******** this s**t" and left a long time ago. I'd just move in with barry and try to get my license, so I could work at the texas boll weevil with him. :/ Don't even give a ********.

But she's here, and I love her, and she's pretty much the main reason I'm still sane..so, I'm toughing it out.

Really, I can't wait until I leave again. Dad may think we're going to be here for a long, long time.. but lol, no. We're not. We're leaving the first chance we get. I don't give a ******** if he's worried about us leaving/worried about being here alone and not having anyone take care of him: TOUGH TITTIES. I've been as kind as I possibly could, I've been sparing what I could, and we've been trying to be as helpful as possible.. but our ******** kindness is being taken advantage of. Today, for example. He wanted me to go to woundcare with him.. I have to work tonight, so I can't.. I needed to sleep. I let him borrow my phone, and had chloe pick up s**t with our foodstamps. I made a ******** solution.

I'm tired of being so nice, and getting s**t on.

I'm done with this house, and the people in it. I'm just going to sit back and watch it all burn. I'm going to do what I need to, then leave.





 
 
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