Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Chloe got pissed at me because I forgot to walk the damn dog. That, and the earrings she got for my sister were laying on the ground and my trash was sitting on them, apparently.

1) I didn't know they were sitting there. 99% of the time, s**t on the floor in my room is trash she dumped out of her purse. Anything important, she usually picks up, so I don't pay attention. Earrings shouldn't have been on the floor, I don't look when I'm taking the trash bag out of the can.

2) I forget things. It's why I never wanted a pet to begin with, and why I said I can't own a pet. I'm too irresponsible for a pet, and I know this. I'm too forgetful and lazy. That's why I'll never own a pet myself.

She said "We're going to live alone eventually and I need to take care of my own dog." ********... ouch.

I guess it's true. We eventually will, right? ******** hurt, though. When she constantly tells me she's not going to leave me alone to rot, then tells me we're going to live apart? I have ******** abandonment issues. Springing s**t like that on me, after just telling me we're going to be together for a while, makes me freak the ******** out.

I haven't said a word to her since she got angry at me, because it'd just fan the flames and make everything worse. Hearing that "we're going to live apart" though, holy ********. I started shaking. ******** twist the knife. Let me live in ignorance for a while longer until I get used to the fact that I'm going to die alone in this shithole, probably via suicide, K? Let me just enjoy the peace of mind I have while I can have it, until I'm forced to face the reality and end up scattering my pink matter all over these crumbling walls.

I'm tired, and can't sleep. I have a migraine. I just ate and I'm still hungry, and I'm shaking now. ******** this life. I have never wanted to burn my life away more than I do right now.