what am I doing anymore? There's nuffin here...
hmm?
I reach forward and nothing's there...
is there anything wrong with that?
...I dont want to have nothing.... nothing to look forward to...
....Why?
....I need a motive...
You didn't need one when you were younger...
I've aged further than I should of.
...You think you're more mature than you should be?
...Wisdom wise- Yes, acting wise.... not really
Your wisdom is only as far as you'll let it expand... Your actions are much more mature than you realize, your thought process is advanced... but that comes with the price of insanity.
That I'm willing to take...
.... You.... you've been like that for a while now... your wisdom became more evident from when Dusty told you why....
...I've noticed.... I dont want to think about anything like that... I dont want to remember what love is, I dont want to feel it!
It makes you want to... find someone...
Yet, I can't, and I wont... least someone who's understanding enough for me...
Yes, that's true. You need to feel more love for someone else though....
ANOTHER?!
Yes, you're gonna love again... at least once more... just... you're gonna get hurt. It's needed for that wisdom.
....That's worse than the insanity penalty part of it.
...You need it for your wisdom if you really want it that bad.
I do... I really dont want the pain... but I'm willing to suffer through it if I can gain just a bit more...
Good girl. Heart ache for you is inevitable... Why do you try to fight your feelings?
I don't want the heart ache....
Does anyone?
...Course not... Unless it's for an extremely good reason
Do you have a good enough reason to suffer once more?
...Unfortunately.
You're stronger than most...
I wish I wasn't... but I really dont have much else to do with myself.
Is that all you're gonna do with that wisdom is just have it just to have it?
...I'm gonna use it, in one way or another!
Good girl. Now... what do you need?
Some way to kill emotions....
No can do, they're part of that knowledge hun.
... But ... why do I have to be in pain so much for them?
....Wisdom is something earned. It is not easily accepted by all as it tis by you, it could take years for someone else who's 3times as young or old as you.
Why me?
...You're one of the few who knows how to use it correctly.
...and yet, I still have a weak will to live...
Heh, That'll be gone soon enough... Once you figure more out...
...Do I really need to go to college?
No, You don't. It'll be nothing but a waste for you. You'll be alone, wishing you've never even wasted the time if you do bother.
So it'd just be in my best interest-
Yes, also... You'll affect the world more than most people that go to college could do...
But I'm just me. I'm not that important...
Wisdom is more useful than you realise...
But college stuffs you with the opportunity
....Just because something seems more opportune through something else, doesn't mean it will be...
I don't know why....
You don't know why about what?
...I want to be loved...
....Human nature hun... You can't escape it.
Why am I unable to find it?
...Standards, clashes of people.... You being .... you?
Am I just not beautiful enough....
.... just not in the tastes of most people....
understood... But I just..
You keep wanting this... wanting something that causes you pain
....Like an emo to a razor sorta...
...You want something to love to love you back?
....Yeah....
....Forget about it, that's all you can do.
I cant... My foofin heart won't let me.... what is this anyways?
....
what makes my chest feel so... burdened... when unloved... it's not really my heart
.....I can't tell you that... sorry
.... I just want to be loved....
Love is a drug of the mind... we become addicts to it more and more....
I only want that... that and that only...
it's not gonna happen...
So I've heard... so what's the point of me being here then?
...You'll know when the time is right
STOP BEATING AROUND THE BUSH AND TELL ME!
...I can't... not right now at least...
fine.... I'll talk to you later...
Alright... I'm always here if you need me...
...I just wish there was someone outside of my head like that...
 Jello Challenged · Thu Oct 05, 2006 @ 06:27am · 0 Comments |
