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On Another Note...


JaneyBlaze
Community Member
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Since dating you i've felt whole y'know? Finding some person that feels the same way I do thinks about the same things I do.. It's not the first time i've met some person that feels that same way. There are other like me and you. Us. When it comes to relationships there are other things other than having the same morals, beliefs.. what have you. My 'house' (trailer) is in my name. I own everything you use. Sleep on. Wear. I often times wonder if I'm just harboring a hobo- because when i'm sad and upset you do nothing. Because when I cannot sleep you fall asleep quicker. Because when I put food on the table there is no 'thank you'. You are ungrateful, yet you are quick with your tongue. You are so selfish that you think of excuses before you do anything that may have me upset. I went to the bar without telling you- but I came home as soon as I knew you were about to be home/got a text you were on your way home! So that makes it ok. What? You were looking forward to me coming home after a rough day and I wasn't there knowing you were to work a double today with little to no sleep? Well I was at the bar without letting you know haha that's okay though, i'm a grown man and I can do whatever I wish- I wasn't thinking about you except I was! I came home as soon as I knew of your arrival 20mins away! Why are you upset 20mins after when I come home? I have to come home to this?! ******** you b***h jesus always causing drama! Goodnight- i'm going to sleep on your bed haha!

It may not be like this but it sure as hell seems that way when there is no 100%. Just the bare ******** psychological minimum that says "I've thought this through before, to your upsets and your grudges to my excuses. I can do what I want because I can defend myself better than you can attack".

I'm about ******** done with this relationship haha I'm on 2 days without sleep. He brushes off arguments. Then when I try to explain what happened on my side- saying I didn't want to talk about it just that 'this is what has upset me' he goes on to attack me and say that i'm just tired and have been drinking. So many excuses.. I'm so ******** tired. Not from lack of sleep. I'm so ******** tired of life. I thought I had a ride or die. I'm about ready to kick him out. I've tried to before, but he pleaded and begged. For what? My forgiveness or for a nice bed, a WiFi account, access to a loving cook? ******** you dude what do you bring me? I'd be so much more happier with an empty bed. I'd be able to sleep knowing I don't have someone so ready to defend themselves instead of standing up to what has upset or hurt me- even if it is them themselves. This has happened too many times and is hard to put into words as it is psychological warfare lmao. Do they know what they do? Probably the ******** not. So maybe I just need a simple man. A better boyfriend. One who isn't a terrible father to a kid that is not mine. I am young and naive- I understand I'm still learning. I'm so ******** ready to die. I'm so ready to not ever marry or have another boyfriend again. I'm too independent. I have too many trust issues that prove true often times. I'm so ******** tired.




 
 
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