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As I think about the the past day, I sigh heavy. It always helps to write down my thoughts for my own personal refections. The war is over. We won. I say it now and it still feels like it's a dream. I feel like I'll wake up and I'll be back on the battlefeild. Ivan Rasputin Markov is as dead as any man could be. I offered his sword as well as his head to my father. Looking back, I understand that I may have been a bit brash in my....dealings with him, but my own personal hatrid for him took over my being. He is dead and I'd be lying if I said I would willingly spare him. The united world is better without him.

Alexi Barkov is still missing. It settles horribly within my being. I feel so, incomplete...Maybe because he is the second object of my revenge that still remains very unfulliled. Does it make me a horrible person if I wish I could tear his throat out? I wish sometimes that I had killed him, just like Ivan. I wanted him to see me as he dies and know the son of the man he had tried so desperatly to destroy, was his executioner. I feel a bit dejected at that fact. I feel too empty. I know my dealings with him are not done yet. Don't ask me how I know. I just do. From the bottom of my heart, I know he'll be back to torment me.

My heart grows lighter as I think of one of my own soldiers. I know I should not feel this way about her. She is shy, yet so appealing. I always knew that I would just know when I've found the one. She may seem plain to some but to me....she is the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. My heart calls to her in a way that i have never felt before. All the girls I've ever let hold even the tiniest peice of my heart, has been in it for the fame and money. For some reason...I want to give her my whole heart. It's something I've never done before. I've always been so careful when it came to matters of the heart.... So why am i being so careless now? I know almost nothing about her and yet...I think i may love her. Krya Sukulsky...

I must not think of such things now. I should be thinking of a speech! I'll be talking at my brother's wedding as his best man. I'm sure Diane will being going crazy over her "Golden child's" wedding day. Whatever.

Hopefuly I'll be able to sleep. Maybe If I'm lucky, I wont dream of Alexi mocking me with his freedom or of Kyra's beautiful smile....