Feeling: Waking Depression
Entry Type: Talking (on and on)
I don't know what everyone wants from me. I try hard to understand the people around me. I do nice things, I listen to their problems, I give them advice, but I guess in the end I'll always be the b***h. Whenever I try to talk to you guys, you just ignore me or brush me off like I have nothing to say. Whenever I have an opinion, everyone always ignores me or glares at me with those "Boy are you stupid!" eyes. You call yourselves my friends, but then you turn around and blame me for whatever you can.
You always say "I love you." or "We all love you.", but then you turn around and scream at me and throw your s**t at me, because I said something wrong. Are you really me friends? Do you even care about me? Or is it all an act to get things from me? You sometimes do nice things to me. You counsole me and laugh with me, but then you go up to one of your other friends and talk s**t about me.
Do you really think I'm that worthless? What all did I do to deserve this? I you hate me that much, then tell me! Don't wait for me to hear it from someone else! Talk to me about it. Because, only then can I know where I stand with you. But, I can't know what you really think of me, unless you tell me yourself.
Are you all secretly against me? If so, than that's just ******** up. I'm not a bad person, and I try to be as rational and nice as I can. But, everyone has their pushing limits, and maybe you caught me at the wrong time. But, that's no way to judge me. Am I all that bad? Tell me what I did so I can set it straight! I can't guarentee that I will be nice about it, but I will try my best to atleast agree on something.
There are SO many things I've wanted to say to you guys, but in the end I just can't remember a single one of them. Some are good, some bad. I want to know what you hate about me, but also what you like about me. I want you to be able to confide in me. I want to laugh with you, cry with you, argue with you, but then laugh about it later. Isn't that what friends are for?
I have had ALOT on my mind lately. I've been really angry and sad. If you currently hate me, but won't admit it to my face, and you are reading this, then I only have one thing to say: "You have succeeded in your plan to make me feel more emotional s**t than I ever have before. And I REALLY am sorry that we couldn't have been better friends."
No, this is not a sob entry, and I'm not trying to seem like I'm groveling here. The reason I am writing this, is because, if I can't get your attention in real life, then may be I can get your attention in gaia life.
SO PLEASE, IF YOU READ ALL THE WAY THROUGH THIS, AND ANYTHING HAS COME TO YOUR MIND, PLEASE PM ME OR TALK TO ME IN SCHOOL.
That is all I had to say.
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How the power of Love and Hate, fight. (Who will win?)
My Journal? Holds my emotions; Fleeting parts of my life; My creativity; My thoughts...
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Hello I am a nice person ^_^.
She's a cutie, isn't she? Help donate for her to appear in the Avi Arena!
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Dorkularistik
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User Comments: [4] [add]
Community Member
Sara: So, how are you?
Sarah: You never listen to me!
Sara: Not so!
Sarah: Yes so, you just brush it off or say something stupid or laugh when I talk to you seriously!
Sara: *screams from frustration*
Well, not exactly like that, obviously, but...you get my point? And then when I AM serious, you just complain that I don't "understand you" or I'm not "serious enough!" Please understand that I try my best...maybe I'm not the most thereputic person ever, but I do TRY...there's not much I can help you with when all you do is glare at me and say how I never listen...