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*takes a few breathers* so i'm sad....after thinking, hitting my punching bad, etc... i realized i'm sad...mad...jelouse...insecure... I guess after holding it if for years i finally need to let it out... Usually i just workout, go with friends, pick a fight, well stuff right...and it makes me feel better. nothing is working right now, contrary just making me feel worse. Why sudden saddness??(that reffering ot my friends that seen me over joyd these past few days) Cause the other day someone says (i can't quote on quote so yea...) that i can tell them, despite...that if they aren't on just to send them a message and they'll respond.. good god...why did it hit when he/she said that! i trust this person, i do but because of the way they act sometimes it insecures me...especially today when they said "my only buddy"...made me feel like i wasn't important to him or nothing...i felt many things that i don't know i should put here...At this point i'm so lost i think they only said that to shut me up or something...I'm lost, confused, scared...i dont' know! damn it i just want my friend back..he'd know what to say...I grew so used to having him when something happens now that he is gone i'm lost... I don't know who to talk to about how i feel....

(this is not a suicide thing its a pleed for help.....)