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SCARLET, WE LOVE YOU SO...

Emo... the drag on society. If you have ever met one, or are friends with one, you know what I am talking about (Don’t lie). One of my best friends, named Scarlet, (sounds emo enough?) always has a bleak outlook. She used to cut herself, and has committed suicide and failed countless times. Despite her gloominess and tendency to make others day rained upon, I among others love her to death. She is somewhat dramatic as most emo people are, and when something is wrong everyone must know about it. Tis the way of the emo.

Every friday me and my friends, The Friday Feel Good Kids, get together and chill till morning. Scarlet, being one of our best buddies (and founding friends) is always there. We do not recognize her issues usually but this time it was particularly Out there and almost bleed for attention (literally). This is the story

It was friday and we decided to have the chill-feast at Patrick’s house (also known as Patty). So as usual, me and Kevin picked Ashley and Scarlet up. This is normal but this friday it was different, Scarlet claimed she wasn’t even supposed to be going because she and her mom got in a fight. This of course was frivolous and we continued on with our evening plans.

We arrived at Patty’s Pad and promptly got to work and by work I mean sitting around eating our cheezy poofs (Cheetos Puff) and drinking fattening beverages. The evening was going smooth, especially when we whipped out my Anti-Cyber entries and read them, it was great. Little did we know, it was that time of month for Scarlet’s brain.

About 10 PM, while we where watching the awesomeness that is The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Scarlet starts to hide under her blanket and cry. This happens a lot with emo people (for those who have never had the pleasure of meeting a serious emo person). So as we were watching Eddie get is saxophone playing, rock and roll, fat, Meatloaf a** get hacked to bits by the Doctor, Scarlet starts to moan.

This is not a sexy moan, but a moan that goes more along the lines of "f**k ME!!!1!!1"

She says that she is going to go lie down in the near by bedroom of the all mighty Couch King that is Patty. She does this on occasion, but only if something is seriously bothering her.

We chilled for a bit longer as I DDRed like a mad man and ate my delicious raisins that I had brought with me from home; when the question came up about Scarlet.

We discuss what might be wrong with her. I am to tired to care and would prefer her to just stop crying black emo tears for one night. With this in mind, I walk into the room and went to fingerslam.com.

Word of the wise, fingerslam is not meant to be viewed by virgin eyes and if you have not seen at least lemon party or meatspin, you would bleed green from your eye sockets and die after getting raped in the nostrils by evil little nose trolls.

Moving on.

The website in all its disturbing imagery amused our favorite little emo. She jumped with joy and screamed happily at it. Mission accomplished! or not?

In her loud joy she attracted all, except for the virtuous Couch King Patty. Ashley and Kevin rushed in and saw the horrors of fingerslam.com.

Ashley you must understand, loves to creep people out and enjoys things that disturb others purposely. God Bless her...

Kevin however has a weak stomach for such things and walked in almost puking. Had he not seen it already before he might have chucked right then and there.

We laughed and cheered as the disturbing clip played over and over again. In our laughter, we had forgotten about Scarlet’s Brain Period.

She reminded everyone in a gloomy way that she wanted to be left alone so she could rest and talk to her boyfriend who lives in her phone (as she often does).

We left and and continued about our Rocky Horror business.

30 mins later she walked in saying she had a migraine and she was about to puke. Despite the fact that she does this all the time and usually recovers, we did not take the situation lightly.

It had been her saddening migraine that vexed us since 10, action needed to be taken. It was about 11:30, by that time and we deiced it was about time for her to go home considering it was only going to get worse.

Kevin being her best friend (in my opinion) called her mother and said she needed to get over here.

At this point it had gotten so bad that she was naked in the tub of the great Couch King Patty, resting in the soothing bath water. We did all we could to help Scarlet, god bless her.

Because the driveway to Couch King Patty’s house was so cleverly hidden to keep itself protected from unwanted demons and evil spirits, Couch King Patty and Kevin had to stand outside to make sure Scarlet’s mother could find it.

I was left in charge of the house till they got back.

Ashley was in the bathroom keeping an eye on Scarlet so it was just me and Buster (Couch King Patty’s kitty kitty). I lay on the ground entertaining myself while kitty raped my face with his bites of little kitty fury. His wrath was quite painful.

As they returned, I had pinned myself to the ground in the position of Jesus christ on the cross with 15 pound weights. As they walked in they witnessed my face raping by the cat as I lay like Jesus peering up at them

Much strange looks and laughter where directed towards me. Scarlet’s mother followed behind, she gave me a look that said "your a psycho" all over it as I looked up at her and said "Look at me, I’m Jesus =D". She laughed in worry and moved on to see what had been up with Scarlet.

Ryan’s Notes: All People very devout in the christian faith, please do not take offense to the Jesus christ joke, it was not meant to offend and I hope it does not.

While Scarlet was getting dress with the help of Ashley and her mother, me, Kevin, and Couch King Patty filmed me acting as I where possessed on Kevin’s phone. Everyone later watched it and approved of it.

Scarlet and Ashley went home and so did I, Kevin decided to spend the night with Couch King Patty.

I arrived home at 12:12 or so and flocked to my computer to type this among other journal entries.

More to come...