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So I was going to write this yesterday as it was all fresh in my mind but I got distracted by watching all three seasons (well most of all three seasons) of 'Drawn Together'.

So this is about my day in court yesterday. Yes, court. There was a judge and everything...lol. It was actually my second appearance in court. The first had to do with some accusations concerning a missing pop machine...very long story.

Anyway, yesterday's trip concerned my son. A bit of a back story: my ex-girlfriend didn't tell me until the summer of this year that she had gotten pregnant around the time we broke up, after we had protected sex. She had sex with another guy so there was confusion about who the father was. Yes, he is mine.

Soon as she found out that bit of information, she asked me to watch him for a bit while she did some things. She never came back. I was suddenly a single father taking care of a child just over a year old.
All goes well, I adjust, I move into a nice apartment, get some things together for my son, ect. So October 28th or something (can't remember the exact date) the mother comes back claiming that I kidnapped him.

So, she serves me court papers, telling me that she's going to get child support out of me for the whole time I didn't pay (about a year) and all this other stuff.

Bit more of a backstory: although she had all my contact information, she never bothered to call after the break up. Took her about TWO YEARS to get in contact with me again. Also, all the times I met her after finding out about my son, she was drunk and carrying drugs of some sort as well as never having anything to care for him.

Anyway, we went to court yesterday. I brought all the reciepts I had from when I bought supplies for my son (which at the time I didn't know yet that he was mine). I also had a few of her former and current drug dealers, a bunch of people she owned money to, other reciepts of all the stuff I had bough my child from when i first got him in the summer till now... yeah, I was packing.

The judge spoke to her first and she went through this whole sob story. Then he talked to me, with all my proof. He then proceeded to shake his head then said the following:
"Miss. XXX (my ex-gf), you have no case. You clearly abandoned your child, you abuse drugs and alcohol. You owe over $50,000 in dept. You're not only an unfit mother, you will be serving time in jail for false charges, trafficking drugs and child endangerment while David (my son) was under your care. Mr. V (me) I award you full custody. Whether or not she gets to see David during the time she is in jail is entirely up to you.

After she serves her time and spends a year in rehab, you can decide whether or not to allow her visitation rights, no court will go against your decision until she can prove her life is in order. Even after such a case it will probably be at least 10 years before she can see him unsupervised. Judgement for the plantiff, this case is done."

So, my ex is serving about... 5 years in prision, probably a few years in rehab and a bunch of community service hours (I didn't stick around for her sentance). Is it wrong that I feel so giddy? I mean I just single handedly (in a sense) put a woman in jail.

Not that she didn't deserve it mind you, but I would at least expect to feel some kind of guilt after totally destroying her life. I mean, she won't be able to get any kind of job in child services, hell she'll be lucky if she can get a really well paying job after this.

But I don't. After all the bullshit she put me through, not telling me she was pregnant, not telling my about my son, coming to me during a stressful time in my life to finally tell me about him, abandoning him with me when I literally had NOTHING to take care of him with and was living with my sister... all the emotional bullshit, all the monetary bullshit, I don't feel the least bit sorry for her. Not at all.

I can honestly say, that I will never allow her to see him again, so help me God that I don't really believe in. Even when she gets her life in order, if that ever happens, I'm not letting him go anywhere with her alone. And when the time comes that she does get her life in order and asks to see him, I will tell him everything concerning his birth. I'll tell him how much of a dumbass his mother was, and even though we never planned his birth, he's still my miracle and I would give up the world for him.

As far as he knows, my current GF is his mother. When he's old enough to understand all this (I figure about 8+) I'll let him know the truth. Any sooner and it would do a bunch of mental damage. Not that he won't be affected mentally later but at least he'll understand more if he's older. Yeah, he's going to have issues but I know he'll be a strong kid, I'm going to teach him to be strong.

Not to say I'm going to be the dad that says boys don't cry. I'm going to teach him how to face his problems head on and work through them with logic. I'm going to teach him that yes, it's okay to talk to people about how you feel if something's bugging you. That yes, it's okay to have a different opinon then everyone else. That research and knowledge is a person's key to understanding. An open mind is better then blind following. A bully is just a jackass with daddy issues and are really fun to beat down a peg or two... that being blunt is a blessing, being truthful is always the right way to go, unless of course you're telling you're GF she DOES in fact look a bit chunky in those jeans.

I'm not going to be one of those parents that tosses their kid in front of the latest game console or television and let's it entertain them. I'm not going to throw a fit if I see an add on tv or some pixels on a website that promotes explict or 'evil' themes. He's going to know what's 'right' and 'wrong' based on his own perceptions of the words as I teach him my perceptions of the words...

Okay, I so didn't mean for this to get into my dreams of perfect parenthood. Eh, it happens. Nothings perfect and yeah, there's going to be walls that get in the way. I'll bash through those walls and barriers with a sledge hammer when I get to them. Or climb over them, whatever's more appropriate for the situation.

I'm done now, I have an 18 month old to check on. He's obviously fine though, his night babbling hasn't stopped...lol. But hey, I like seeng him cuddling into his blankie, makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside. Comment or not, I'll probably be around.